Complications of Life and Love
by FreakyFreak17
Summary: This is an alternative ending and continuation of A Fine Line Btween a Friend and a Lover. Read that first before reading this one. This takes place right after Chapter 14 of the previous story.
1. Sorry

_**Complications of Life and Love**_

_**Sorry**_

I lay on my side miserably on my bed staring out the window as I tried to think back on two nights ago.

_What happened…?_

I asked myself.

_What did I do…?_

For two straight days I've had vague images randomly flashing in my mind. I wasn't sure whether they were dreams I had or reminiscences from what might have happened. Only one thing was for sure and it worried me. Those images included Kuki. 

"I love you" That's the only phrase that kept ringing in my ears. It scared me to think that I might have told her. There was a big possibility that I might have done so. I closed my eyes and relaxed my mind for a little while. I didn't realize that I was touching my lips while I did this. All of a sudden my eyes grew wide when I had another flashback.

_I kissed her. I know I did. I don't remember doing it but I know I kissed her. I can feel it._

I sat up straight and thought about it.

_I kissed her…I told her…she knows… _

All of a sudden the door opened and my little brother came running in.

"Wally! She's here!" Joey jumped happily, "Kuki's here!"

I panicked for a moment and stood up not knowing what to do. Should I run out the door? Jump out the window? Hide under my bed? What should I do? Out of desperation, I attempted to get to another room and hide before Kuki finds out that I was there. But it was too late. I opened the door and she was there. She and I both were shocked to see each other despite the fact that we were expecting it.

"Hi…" She tried to smile. I didn't reply. I just stared at her. Before she even bothered to say another word, Joey interrupted.

"Kuki!" He hugged her.

"Hi Joey" She said sweetly.

"Let's go to the ice cream store!" He tugged my hand along with Kuki's hand. I didn't react to anything he said. I just looked down on him.

"Um…Joey" Kuki kneeled to face him, "I baked some cookies and brought some of them over. Why don't you go downstairs and ask for them from your mom?"

Joey yelled happily and tried to go downstairs. But my grip on his tiny hand was stopping him.

"Wally!" He complained as he tried to pull away. I didn't let him go. I didn't want to be left alone with Kuki. But soon enough his childish strength was able to liberate him. I listened to his footsteps as he ran down the stairs. I knew that Kuki was staring at me but I tried to stay focused on Joey's footsteps. When they were gone, I had nothing else to turn to.

"Can I come in…?" She asked me. I didn't reply to her. Nor did I look at her. After a while she silently walked in and closed the door behind her. I wanted to stop her but I didn't have the strength to tell her off. Another awkward moment passed before she took a seat on my bed and gestured for me to sit beside her. Even though I didn't want to, I did as I was told.

Without bothering to get me to look at her straight in they eye, she started to speak. "I wanna talk to you about the other night"

"No…!" I unintentionally muttered.

She stared at me for a few seconds and I still didn't look at her. "Wally, we _have_ to talk about it"

"No we don't" I replied. My mouth had a mind of its own and it was talking to her even though I didn't want it to.

She and I allowed a few minutes of silence to pass by before she spoke again. "Do you remember what happened two nights ago?"

"Vaguely…"

"Do you remember what you said to me?"

"Not all of it…"

"Which ones _do_ you remember?"

I didn't speak. I wanted that moment to be over. I wanted her to be gone.

"Wally, I need your help here…"

"I don't wanna talk about what happened"

"You have to. You can't just turn your back on this!"

"Yes I can!" I finally looked at her, "And I will because I've done it before!"

For a minute she stared at me with an unusual shock in her eyes. I didn't know what she was thinking but it obviously startled her. As we stared at each other it was as if we belonged in two different worlds. We didn't understand each other.

"What do you mean you've done it before? She asked me, "...You turned your back on me, didn't you?"

It was then that I understood why she was shocked to hear what I said. She figured out what I have done.

"You were never going to tell me the truth about how you felt?" I heard a bit of anger in her voice and it weakened me.

"I tried…I couldn't…" I said weakly.

"Since when have you been hiding it from me?"

"Since…I met you…"

"You mean to tell me that you had at least six straight years worth of chances to tell me but you never did?"

"I was going to tell you…but then Chad came along and…"

"Wally!" She said angrily, "You should have told me!"

I couldn't reply to her. I didn't have the strength to.

"You should've said something to me before Chad came along! To think that I used to feel-" She stopped dead right between her words.

I looked at her and saw the anxiety on her face. And I was suddenly desperate to know what she meant to say. "What is it?" I asked her eagerly. As I looked into her eyes, I saw an unfamiliar discomfort in them and I wanted to know what it meant. "What were you going to say…?" I asked her in a gentler way. Her eyes started to fill with tears.

"I loved you, Wally…" She said to me.

It was impossible to explainhow I felt at that moment. I felt a bizarre amount of bliss rising within but at the same time a peculiar type of sorrow revealed itself.

"That's great…!" I found myself saying as I suddenly held on to her hands, "Now we can be together"

She didn't say anything yet I didn't bother to know why. All I did was lean towards her and kiss her. Although my lips pressed against hers, her lips didn't press back. She was sitting still with her eyes straight down and her hands showed no sign of interest in holding onto mine. When I drew myself back I looked at her and wondered why she showed no response. At that time the sorrow inside me started to dominate over the bliss until it disappeared and the agonizing pain was the only feeling left. Swallowing suddenly became a challenge to me as I started to sense that things wouldn't be going the way I hoped it would.

"What's wrong…?" I asked her nervously.

She kept her eyes staring down while she spoke. "We can't be together Wally…"

"W-what…?"My disbelief spoke out on its own.

"I can't…" She tried to continue, "I can't just get out of a serious relationship with Chad just because you and I failed to confess our feelings for each other in time…"

My eyes tried to look into hers but only saw her eyelids and eyelashes pointing down.

"I'm sorry but I can't give you what you want…" She said, "I'm with Chad now…I'm happy…"

And she left.


	2. Hate

_**Hate**_

I spent four days lying on my bed in trauma and disbelief as I kept rewinding that moment in my mind.

_Why the hell did she do that?_

"I loved you..." I remembered her saying. 

_How could I not notice the word **loved**?_

I was looking out the window into the pouring rain when I heard the door squeak open and my mother came in.

"Wallabee…?" She called.

"What is it…?"

"Honey, it's lunch time"

"I'm not hungry…"

"You said the same thing at breakfast" She sat by my bedside, blocking my view of the window a little bit.

I ended up looking at her. "I'm still not hungry"

"You're growing skinny, sweetie"

"I'm still not hungry" I said in the exact same way as before.

I went back to watching the raindrops splashing on my window and ignored my mother's stare. She was gazing at me for a long time until she spoke again. "Are you ready to tell me everything?"

I looked at her. "What everything?"

"Everything about her" I rolled my eyes on impulse and she noticed. She stared at me a while again before speaking. "You know, you're not gonna get anything good out of hiding how you feel"

I lay quietly for a minute then said, "…I didn't get anything good out of letting it out either…"

"You told her?"

I nodded.

"What did she say?"

I gave her no response. But I can tell the she figured it out so she sighed sadly.

"She turned you down…?"

I still didn't respond and continued to focus on the rain. My mom ran her hand through my hair and gave me a peck on the temple.

"Are you sure you don't wanna eat? Joey's waiting for you downstairs. He wants to see his big brother"

The thought of Joey urged me to come downstairs. But it wasn't enough so I just shook my head.

"Okay" She said, "I'll be downstairs if you need me"

About half an hour after my mom left, I had another visitor. Joey came in my room but he didn't run in and jump on my bed like usual. Instead he slowly walked in, folded his arms on my bed and rested his chin on them. I stared back at him while he gazed at me.

"Can we go to the ice cream store?" He whispered.

"No"

"Why not?"

"I'm tired..."

"But you're always sleeping!"

"I'm still tired"

"Pleeeaaase?"

"No, Joey. I'm sorry"

"Why are you so sad?" He suddenly asked.

I didn't answer him.

"Is it because Kuki has a boyfriend?"

I have no idea how he came up with that but he's sure damn smart.

"You know what would make you feel better?" Joey smiled.

"…What…?"

"Ice cream!" He started poking my cheek,"Let's go get some"

Having no other choice, I got up and got dressed while my little brother jumped with joy.

"Why can't we stay in the ice cream store?" Joey asked me as we walked home.

"Because I'm still tired and I wanna go back to bed"

"But that's what you always do!"

"So? I still wanna go to bed, you little creep"

"You big mean doodoohead!"

Although I didn't show it, I felt a bit gleeful to hear Joey talk like that. He has the same spunk that I have. For a minute I was feeling less downhearted because my focus on Kuki was interrupted. But then something happened that made me more depressed.

"Hey look!" Joey pointed to the other side of the street.

When I looked at what he was pointing at the small amount bliss inside me disappeared. Across the street, Chad and Kuki were passing by. Seeing the smile on her face caused a combination of anger and agony to rise up within me. She was acting like nothing happened.

_After breaking my heart, you just went back to enjoying your perfect life with your perfect boyfriend…_

I stopped my pace to watch them pass by. Suddenly I found Kuki looking back at me and time slowed down when our eyes met. As I watched the smile on her face disappear, I felt nothing but anger. I tried to show it to her through my stare.

_Go ahead…enjoy your perfect life…_

I turned around and continued to walk home with Joey but I still thought about her. There was only one thing I wanted to say to her.

_I hate you…_

It was around seven-thirty that night when I was still lying on my bed and thinking about Kuki. I felt angry with myself.

_I'm so stupid…stupid…!_

I buried my face into my hands. I wanted to hurt myself. I wanted to make myself suffer. Out of anger, I grabbed a pillow and threw it angrily on the floor. I started to think that I was incapable of feeling anything else. I dropped myself down and sat on the floor, leaning back on the side of my bed.

_Why didn't I tell her? I had years to tell her but I didn't…I'm so stupid!_

All of a sudden I realized something that I've never even thought of before.

_Why am I getting mad at myself? It's her fault too…she had feelings for me and she didn't tell me either. It's her fault too! What gives her the right to blame it all on me? Why am I the one suffering for all this?_

I stood up and whispered to myself, "I'm not gonna go through all this for nothing…" So I took a jacket and went out the door.


	3. Nothing Ever Does

_**Warning! This chapter is a short one. By the way, I know some of you are pissed because Chad isn't much of an antagonist but I did that on purpose. It adds more conflict to the story. Oh well, that's all. Please R&R. )**_

_**Nothing Ever Does**_

I walked through the side of Nigel's house furiously. No one knew I was there but I didn't care. My mind was focused on doing only one thing. I entered the backyard and I was going to go to the clubhouse but I realized I didn't need to. What I was looking for was there in the yard itself.

"Wally?" Kuki said when she saw me. I didn't say a word to her. I just approached her and by the way she looked at me, it seems that she was threatened by how I approached her. She backed off a bit but I didn't let her escape. I cornered her by slamming my hands upon the wooden wall of the clubhouse, trapping her between my arms.

"How dare you put me through all this?" I asked her in a low but furious tone.

"All what?" She trembled before me.

"It's your fault too, Kuki. You have no right to leave me suffering!"

Before she could answer the door of the clubhouse opened and Nigel, Abby and Hoagie came out. They heard my hands slam on the wall.

"What's going on here?" Hoagie said, alarmed at what he saw me doing.

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" I screamed and pointed at him. Then I turned back to Kuki and continued screaming at her. "You don't have the right to make me go through hell and just leave me there! You deserve to suffer too!"

"Wally, stop that!" Nigel tried to pull me away from her. I saw Kuki cry and run into Abby's arms but I still wasn't satisfied. The anger I had let out wasn't enough. In no time I was able to get free from Nigel's grip and I grabbed Kuki and pushed her against the wall.

"HEY!" I heard someone call. I looked far behind me and saw Chad running towards us. "What are you doing to her!" He demanded. Before he could even reach any of us, I walked up to him and pushed him.

"What's your problem!" He said bewilderedly.

"YOU!" I screamed at him, "You ruined my life, you asshole! You and Kuki did!" I continued to push him away angrily.

"What the hell are you talking about!" He pushed back.

I didn't bother to explain. He knows what he has done. All I did was attack him and next thing I knew we were wrestling each other on the ground. I've always knew that Chad was stronger than me. After all, he was bigger and older. But this time my strength was just as powerful as his. The anger was providing me all the energy I needed. As I wrestled with him, I heard calls from the others telling us to stop but I didn't stop struggling against Chad. It came to the point when we both accidentally got free of each other and we ended up on our feet at the very same time. Before I could attack him again, Kuki stood in front of him.

"WALLY, STOP IT!" She screamed at me. What she did not only alarmed me, it angered me some more. I continued to come closer but I didn't aim for Chad. I aimed for Kuki. No one was able to stop me when I grabbed her wrists and threatened her again. I didn't know what I attempted to do to her but whatever it was, I wasn't able to do it. Because the moment I grabbed her, I took a second to look at her. The moment I looked into her eyes, I blocked myself from the rest of the universe. Silence surrounded me as I looked into her eyes. Suddenly, I found myself _trying_ to scream at her. I couldn't do it. I couldn't tighten my grip on her either. I couldn't hurt her. I found myself restrained from all that because I saw the fear in her tearful eyes. When things went back to normal and I started hearing everything else again, I found everyone trying to get me away from her. But then she did something that shocked everyone, including me.

"You guys, stop it" She gently said to everyone. I kept staring into her eyes and realized that she saw tears appearing in my eyes too. She understood right away.

"We need some time alone…" She said to the others without taking her eyes off mine.

"What are you talking about Kuki?" Chad asked her.

"Chad…" She looked at him, "Please…leave us…"

Everyone hesitantly entered the clubhouse. As for Kuki and me, we were left standing there silently, staring at each other. Finally, I gently let go of her wrists. And I weakly walked towards a tree near by and dropped myself on the ground underneath it, where its shadow was cast. Hiding in that dark spot made me appear as nothing more but a black figure of a boy crying underneath a tree. Leaning back on the tree bark, I ran my hands through my hair and to my face while I tried to get a hold of myself. Kuki slowly walked towards me and kneeled in front of me. I did my best to avoid looking into her eyes.

"Wally" She called softly.

I didn't answer her.

"I'm sorry that things have to be this way…"

I still didn't answer.

"But you have to understand, I can't just throw away everything I have…Things can't just go the way you want them to…"

Still avoiding her stare, I stood up and whispered, "Nothing ever does…" And I walked away.


	4. Unknown Desire

_**Unknown Desire**_

I watched every little drop of my sweat hitting the ground as it dripped from my forehead. I was in the gym room of our house, sitting on a weight machine and leaning forward trying to rest. My whole body was sweaty and tired after a non-stop hitting on the punching bag. It was another gloomy day and the cloudy weather caused an extra shadowy touch in our house. It was like living in a dead home. Despite the dark atmosphere, my whole family seemed to be gleeful as usual. I was the only one who was feeling down. The thought of Kuki from last night made me desperate to find something, _anything_, to keep me busy. After helping my mother clean the whole house, helping my dad fix up his car and taking my brother to his karate lessons and bringing him home, I had nothing else to do. So I went to our gym, started working out and here I am two hours later, tired and sweaty yet still willing to go on. I removed my shirt which was soaked with sweat and threw it aside before standing up. Then, I took the boxing gloves and put them on and started to hit the punching bag repeatedly. For every hit, I felt the tiny drops of sweat flying off from my body. It was the same with the emotions inside me. Every punch released a bit of the anger and frustration. Despite my exhaustion, I continued to punch. I didn't care if I pass out. I just wanna let the pain out. "Wow, you're fast!" I stopped and turned around only to find Joey standing in the doorway. "Can I try?" He said. I watched him come up to the punching bag. Hardly able to reach it, he still attempted to punch it. And he kept punching and punching, trying to imitate how I did it. It has been twenty-one hours since my fight with Chad and Kuki and I have not felt good even once. But watching my little brother try to act tough and violent suddenly made me laugh. Without another word, I lifted him up and took him away from the punching bag.

"I wanna punch some more!" He said and I ignored him. I placed him on the couch and turned on the TV for him to watch. Then I went upstairs and took a shower. After that, I went back downstairs and watched cartoons with him. I was amazed at how such a tiny person could cheer me up in a blink of an eye.

"Are you alright?" I heard Joey ask me. I looked down at my side and saw his innocent blue eyes looking up at me.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"You look sad. Why are you sad?"

I turned back to the TV but I wasn't watching it. I was thinking. I knew that whatever I'd say would just confuse him. So I just gave him the simplest answer that I could. "I'm sad because I can't get what I want…"

I went back to watching the cartoons and I didn't even realize that he was staring at me. "Is it Kuki? Is it because she has a boyfriend?"

I stared at him for a minute, amazed at how smart he was. Suddenly, I asked him something that would've been stupid to ask a kid. "What do you think I should do…?"

"I think you should do everything you could to get what you want" He giggled.

Although he meant it as a joke, I took it seriously. "If I do that, I'd end up hurting her…"

"Maybe what you think you want isn't really what you want"

At first I gave no interest to what he said but as it registered into my mind, it made a huge impact on me. I sat up and turned to him and said, "You're too smart for your age, Joey…"

Just then the doorbell rang and I stood up to get the door. When I opened it, it was Hoagie.

"Hey buddy" He said simply.

"…Hi" I said. I felt awkward to see him because it reminded me of last night.

"Mind if I come in?"

"Uh…sure"

Hoagie came in and sat on an armchair. Meanwhile I took my seat on the couch.

"Hi Hoagie!" Joey said cheerfully.

"Hey Joe"

"It's not Joe. It's Joey!" Joey started pounding his little fists on Hoagie.

"Alright! Joey!" Hoagie said. After that Joey left us and went upstairs. "Damn, your little brother is a toughie"

"I know" I laughed a bit, "He kind of learns from me…"

There was a bit of silence for minute before Hoagie spoke again. "So…what's up?"

"I don't know. You're the one who came here. Do you have anything to tell me?"

"I was just checking up on you. Everyone's worried after what happened last night"

I gave him no response.

"What was that about?"

"…I just kinda lost myself"

"What do you mean?"

"You know…after the whole thing with Kuki…I just got mad and lost control…"

"Oh. So is it over between you two?"

"What are you talking about? Nothing even happened between us"

"That's not what I mean. I meant to say, is the whole situation over? Are you both gonna move on now?"

"…I don't know…Maybe _she_ is"

Hoagie sighed and leaned back on the couch.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just that…aren't you tired of all this?"

"All what…?"

"Walls…things are going too far for you…you've gotten drunk, you've smoked too much and now you're picking fights with guys who could easily beat you"

"Don't worry about it. I've stopped drinking, I've quit smoking and last night was just an accident. Everything will be fine" The moment I stopped talking, my own words repeated in my mind. Then I realized that I just lied. It was impossible for things to be fine.

"No offense but I find it hard to believe that things are gonna be alright any time soon"

"What do you mean?"

"It's just that you can be pretty intense and we're all worried about you, Beatles. Just do us a favor and get a hold of yourself"

I stared at him for a minute. I felt pretty disappointed at the thought of him thinking it was so easy. So I tried to explain it to him. "I wanna ask you something…"

"What is it?"

"You know that model plane that you love so much?"

"Yeah?"

"How would you feel if someone took that from you?"

"Pretty upset, I guess"

"Upset? That's all?"

"Yeah"

"Well how would you feel if you wanted to get that plane back more than anything else? But everyone is saying that the person who stole it from you deserves it more?"

"I guess that sucks…"

"That's right. It sucks. Now, I want you to hold on to that feeling and make it a million times worse"

"Okay...?"

"How I feel right now is _worse_ than that"

"Okay, Wally. We know that you're hurt, but you can't let it corrupt you. Do you really wanna end up as a drunken violent smoker?"

"I told you, I'm getting better"

"We hope so…"

"…It's just that…It was bad enough when she didn't know about my feelings for her…."

He stayed silent as he listened.

"But to think that now she knows everything…and she chooses to ignore it…it hurts. And I can't even do anything to make myself feel better. I can't drink, I can't smoke. It's like the whole universe has dedicated its entire self to making me suffer"

"Wally, things always get worse when you drink and smoke. Believe me, things are better this way"

After a quiet moment, I lay down on the couch. I was tired of all this, physically and emotionally.

"So what are you gonna do about it?" Hoagie broke the silence.

"About what?"

"About Kuki? I mean you can't just pull her out of her relationship. You can't just get what you want"

Hearing Hoagie's words suddenly reminded me of what Joey said earlier. _Maybe what you think you want isn't really what you want._

"Wally" Hoagie called and interrupted my thoughts.

"What do you think I want, exactly?"

"Huh?"

"Earlier, Joey told me that maybe I'm not sure of what I want from Kuki. What do you think I want?"

"I don't know…I mean, don't you want to be with Kuki?"

"That's what I thought at first too but…something just doesn't add up…"

Two days after my talk with Hoagie, I still remained clueless about my own desires. _What do I want? What do I really want? _I kept asking myself these questions as I took a walk around town. I've gotten tired of lying on my bed and I thought that fresh air might do me good. So far nothing has come up to me. I was still confused. I stopped my pace and sighed. When I lifted my head and looked around, I realized that I had walked further than I meant to. So I turned around and walked back home. Before I could even take a single step, I suddenly found myself jumping behind a tree. I was hiding from Kuki and Chad. They were walking down the sidewalk across the street. I couldn't face them after what happened last time so I just watched. It was strange. Just two days ago the same thing happened and I felt angry seeing Kuki smile. But now…it was completely different. Seeing the smile on Kuki's face made me happy. It made me feel _painfully_ happy. It was then that I realized what I really wanted. I didn't want to force Kuki to be with me. I wanted her to be happy.


	5. Desperate for Distractions

**_Desperate for Distraction_**

"Wally?" Kuki gasped when she opened the door and saw me.

"Hi…" I said, "Can I come in…?"

"Um…S-sure"

I slowly entered the house trying make myself non-threatening as possible. I didn't want to scare Kuki or anything. After entering I turned to her and stared at her. She just stared back while she closed the door.

"Um…why don't you sit on the couch and I'll get you something to drink" She said. I did as I was told and waited for her. Two minutes later, a can of Coke and a glass of ice were on the coffee table and we were both sitting on the couch quietly. I wasn't ready to talk and Kuki had no idea what to say. Finally, not being able to deal with the silence anymore, I spoke.

"Do you…" I started, "Do you remember Sandy?"

"Who?" She said.

"Sandy"

She stared back at me and shook her head.

"Remember when we were ten? And we went to the beach? He was the kid to tried to 'marry' you"

"Oh" She laughed, "Yeah. I remember him"

"Do you know why I shoved his face in the sand?"

"…Why?"

"'Cause I was jealous…" I wasn't looking at her. But even though I didn't see her, I could feel her staring at me. I didn't know if she was smiling or frowning…but I knew that she was staring.

"What is this about…?" She finally asked.

I wanted to tell her what I meant to tell her, but I still couldn't. I didn't know how to start. Finally, I had no choice but turn to her and tell her. "I guess I…just wanted to apologize about what I did a few nights ago…"

"Oh…"

"I kind of…lost myself. I just…" I tired to go on, "I couldn't handle the pain…"

She stared at me in the most sympathetic way she could. "It was my fault Wally…"

"How is it your fault?"

"You were right…it's my fault too. I have no right to just turn my back on you…"

"There's nothing wrong with what you did. I was just selfish…"

"Where are you going with this…?"

I stared at her for a minute and felt all the pain inside me. It was like a flame burning intensely inside me. Despite the pain, I slowly reached out and held her hands. Before I could even utter a word I saw something strange on her skin, covered by her sleeve. I glanced at her for a second and she looked away. Gently, I pulled her sleeve up. And it broke my heart to see the mark of my hand bruised upon her wrists. I felt weaker than before to see what I have done and Kuki saw it in me.

"Don't worry about it, it's fine…" She said, pulling her sleeve down.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about…" I told her.

"What do you mean?"

"Everything I feel for you keeps getting in the way of you and Chad. And I end up hurting you"

"You didn't mean it"

"Still. I hurt you…and it sucks. It really does. I don't want to hurt you"

She didn't speak.

"Kuki, for the past six years I've loved you more than anything else" I tried to smiled at her and she smiled back, "And the last thing I wanna do is hurt you…I want you to be happy…And if being with Chad makes you happy then I'll…deal with it. I don't wanna get in the way of your happiness…"

Tears suddenly started to appear on her eyes. She smiled at me and I smiled back. Little did she know was that the moment she hugged me, my smile disappeared. What I just did made me feel more painful rather than glad.

It been three weeks and things have been going well. I've apologized to Chad weeks ago for what I did and he was cool with it.

_Everyone's happy…right? Things are good…_

I was lying to myself. Everyone _else_ was happy but not me. I was pretending this whole time. My attempt to act like I was completely happy was failing miserably. I was still the same depressed Wally. I didn't speak much, it was hard for me to smile and laugh. Most of the 'happy' faces I showed Kuki were forced and fake. I still love her. Ever since I told her that I'd deal with her relationship with Chad, I didn't tell her how I'd do it. I didn't tell her that I would just hide my own feelings again.

"Why don't you date other people?" Hoagie said to me as we hung out in my backyard. We were sitting on the beach chairs aligned around the pool-sized sandbox. "I mean you can't sit back crying over Kuki"

"I've been doing it for a while now. I've gotten pretty damn good at it"

"It's not healthy, Walls"

"What do you want me to do? Make out with the next girl I see?"

"You're completely misinterpreting everything I say"

"Fine. Tell me what to do, exactly"

"Just go out there and hook up with any girl. It won't be so hard for you. Girls like you"

"Well I don't like them"

"Come on, Beatles. If girls aren't gonna make you feel better about being turned down by Kuki then what will?"

"The person who's about to arrive"

"Who?"

Just then, Joey arrived shirtless and ran towards me.

"Wally, which one's better?" Joey asked me holding up two shirts.

"The blue one" I replied. I helped him put his blue shirt on and after that he went back inside the house.

"Joey is your alternative for girls?" Hoagie laughed.

"What can I say?" I said, "He makes me happy in ways that I can't explain"

I heard Hoagie snort beside me.

"Why are you so desperate to get me back on my feet anyway?"

"Because I'm your best friend, I _have_ to help you. Besides, I miss the old Wally"

"The old Wally?" 

"Yep. I am so tired of you being always depressed. You used to be so fun"

"I'm still the same person. I just don't feel like having fun…"

"That's my point"

"Whatever"

"Look, just try dating. Okay? You never know, it might help you"

For a while, neither of us said another word. We just watched Joey run out from the house and start playing in the sandbox.

"Joey! Nicky's here!" My mom called from the house.

"Ooh! Who's Nicky?" Hoagie teased Joey, "Is she your girlfriend?"

I smiled a bit as I watched Joey grin and blush. For a minute he went inside the house and came back out with a girl his age. It was weird watching my little brother play with a girl. He always said girls annoyed him but there he was playing with one.

"Dude…" Hoagie muttered to me, "Even your little brother is a chic magnet…at least he's not wasting it"

An hour later, just a few minutes after Hoagie left, I was sitting on the dining table with my mom. We were watching Joey and Nicky watch TV together.

"Aren't they cute?" Mom said. "You know, Joey has been talking about her for weeks. He's had a little crush on her for a long time!"

Suddenly the doorbell rang and my mother got up to get it. While she was gone, I kept watching the little couple. They really seem to be having fun. I couldn't believe it. I was jealous of my little brother. He was able to get the girl he wanted. While I watched him, someone suddenly distracted me. When I looked, I saw Kuki approaching.

"Kuki?" I said.

"Hi" She smiled.

"What are you doing here?"

"I just came over to visit. Your mom let me in"

"Oh…"

"So, who's Joey's little friend?"

"It's just some kid he's had a crush on for weeks"

"Awww…That's so cute! I guess he's not my little boyfriend anymore"

"Yeah…I guess not…"

Hearing what Kuki said, I turned to Joey and Nicky. Watching them, I saw how happy they were. Joey used to have a crush on Kuki. But now, here's Nicky making him forget about her.

_Maybe Hoagie's right_…_maybe I should start seeing other people…_


	6. Fake Lovers' Deal

_**Fake Lovers' Deal**_

I sat on the armchair silently, staring at the phone.

_Should I call her…?_

"No…" I sighed. I have no idea what to do. Hoagie's right. I _can't_ sit here and cry over Kuki. I _have_ to find something that would make me forget her. Once again I pointed my eyes to the phone and thought about whether I should pick it up or not.

_Call her…call her…_

Although my head told me to pick the phone up and call, I found myself unable to move.

_What good is dating gonna do for me anyway? I doubt that it would take my mind off Kuki anyway…_

I closed my eyes and thought about her. The smooth raven hair, the fair soft complexion and the sweet fragrant smell…

"She's perfect…" I whispered, "But I can't have her…"

I opened my eyes once again and looked at the phone. Giving out one final sigh, I stood up and picked it up. And I repeated to myself, "I can't have her…"

Mushi rolled over to the side of my bed after kissing me for an hour straight.

"Wow" She laughed, "That must be the most intense make out I have ever had"

That's right, I asked Mushi out. I know she isn't exactly "other" people for me but I choose her. I'm not planning on going out there and start dating some random girl. I'd rather have Mushi. After all, I've dated her before. I lay there quietly with my hands behind my head while she stared at me.

"You smell better now" She said, "You used to smell like cigarettes but now you smell alright"

I continued to stare at the ceiling. To be completely honest, I didn't care about her.

"Hey" She poked my cheek.

"What?" I snapped.

"What is it with you? You're acting like I'm not even in the room. Earth to Wally, we just made out. Don't forget about me just like that!"

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to give me a little bit of attention"

I looked at her while she smiled back. She's such an annoying girl. "Do you have any idea how annoying you are?" I asked her. Like I said, I didn't care.

"I'm pretty aware of that"

Apparently, she didn't care either. I went back to staring at the ceiling, ignoring Mushi's blank stare. It was weird having someone "drool" over me, especially when I didn't care about them at all. As I continued with my worthless staring, Mushi's hand suddenly blocked my view. She started playing with my hair.

"Will you stop that, please?" I said in annoyance.

"Screw you" She replied, "I'll play with your hair _if _I want to and _when_ I want to"

I turned towards her and watched her smile proudly. She's such a bossy girl and she definitely knows what she wants. I'll have to admit, I found that somehow attractive. So I continued to gaze at this thirteen-year-old Japanese girl. Her looks were nothing like her attitude. She had the fun-loving type of face, but her attitude was too annoying and prankish. Strange though…realizing what Mushi is really like reminded me of what some people once said to me. "A tough girl would be a good match for you" Come to think of it, Mushi is easy to talk to…and I feel completely confident around her.

_Why couldn't I love **you** instead?_

"Because everyone always notice Kuki first" Mushi replied.

I felt a bit uneasy after realizing that I said my thoughts aloud.

"It sucks…" She muttered, "People always like her better. I'm just as pretty as she is!"

_You over-confident freak…_

"Why do guys go for her more rather than me?"

"Because she's a sweet girl" I replied, "And you're a bad-ass slut…"

I turned over and ignorantly buried my face on my pillow while receiving no responses from her. I knew that what I said was offensive but I couldn't care less. While expressing my insensitivity by turning the back of my head on her, I patiently waited for her offended sobs. I didn't receive any. I got a punch instead. Mushi's hit on the back of my head was so sudden that I turned my head sharply at her and stared at her with wide-eyed anger. Yet, she stared back fearlessly with one eyebrow confidently raised. Her fingers tapped on the cushions, beckoning me to apologize. But I didn't. No way…

"Don't ever piss me off like that" I warned her.

"Don't ever call me a slut" She warned me back.

I glared at her, trying to intimidate her with my furious eyes. But inwardly I was amazed, at the same time impressed, by her spunk. Her fingers stopped tapping the cushions. Instead, she placed her cheek in her hand while her arm was balanced by her elbow. She used this gesture to declare the failure of my attempt to "scare" her. Soon enough, I gave up and once again rested my head on the pillow.

"You really _are_ a slut, you know…" I muttered.

"How am I a slut?" She smacked her hand on the back of my head.

"You're asking me that? I just dated you a few months ago and already, you've dated seven guys right after that"

"So? It's not my fault that guys like me. Choosing not to ignore their desire to be with me does _not_ make me a slut"

"Whatever…" 

For a second she stared at me before speaking again. "Alright, _spill_" She demanded.

"What?"

"Spill. Tell me everything. I want the truth _now_"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You obviously have no interest in me. Why'd you ask me out? I want to hear the reasons right now"

I stared blankly at her. This caused her to sigh and roll her eyes, shaking her head.

"Lemme guess…" She said, "Your failed attempts to charm my sister away from her perfect boyfriend made you desperate for a kiss or two?"

I didn't stop staring at her. _Smart little brat…_

"I'll take that silence as a yes" She smiled, "I have a solution for you"

"…I'm listening…"

"What do you say about…_sort of_ dating? As in a _fake_ relationship?"

"What?"

"As in we can make out and stuff but the relationship can never go serious. No feelings and all that other crap"

"What the hell am I gonna get outta that?"

"_You_ will have the kisses that your sorry little heart had been pathetically longing for" She mocked, "And _I_ will get a high school boyfriend. You were, after all, the most decent guy I have ever dated"

I stared at her, thinking about it. It was pretty clever…so I agreed to her. Instead of having a handshake to close our deal, we had another make out session instead.

"Are you stupid or something?" Hoagie gasped in the lowest voice that he could, "_Mushi_?"

"So what?" I whispered back. We both had to keep our voices down because we were in the clubhouse and we didn't want anyone in the gang to hear us.

"I don't get it" Hoagie said, "Of all the girls who are after you, why Mushi?"

"She and I get along pretty well"

"She's a pre-teen, Walls"

"And you're evil"

"Evil? Me? You're the first one to call her a pre-teen. You called her that ages ago!"

"Well she's a lot more mature than I thought"

"Childish, mature, whatever. She's still Mushi"

"What about Mushi?" Kuki jumped on the cushion behind me happily, "What about my sister?"

I turned my head around and looked at her. Her cute, goofy and curious smile was as still as a photo while she waited for an answer. I knew that if I looked at Hoagie, he'd gesture something to me, and urge me to keep my mouth shut. But seeing Kuki made it difficult for me to shut up.

"I'm dating her again…" I said.

What happened next caused a whirlpool of shock and confusion within me. Kuki's smile stiffened a bit. I completely lost myself after seeing that. Everything around her and me turned black and all that I could see was her and her fake smile. It seemed like an eternity while we stared at each other. And when the moment ended, I found myself shocked, confused and somehow…amused… Seeing her stiff smile not only expressed her intimidation unintentionally but it also made me long for more of it. Since then, I not only wanted to hurt Kuki. I wanted to make her jealous.


	7. Ruthless Bliss

_**Ruthless Bliss**_

The day after Kuki accidentally blabbed out her discomfort in my relationship with Mushi must've been the best day I've had in months. There were two main causes for my overwhelming happiness. The first one was the extreme amount of joy I felt after realizing that the _pain_ was gone. I was finally relieved from all the jealousy. All day I've been witnessing the hugs, the kisses and the "lovey dovey" romance between Kuki and Chad yet I felt not a single sting of jealousy. The second cause of my bliss is somehow related to the envy that I lost. It happened around noon while I was confidently lying on the clubhouse couch. It felt like a dream for my emotions to be so clear and fresh. It was as if I was born again. Everyone could freely see the change in me, outside and inside. I had full confidence, I felt livelier than before and I was actually sober and clean. I looked around the clubhouse and turned my head towards a mirror located in the corner of the room. I smiled at my reflection.

_Wow…it really **is** obvious. I actually look happy._

Happy indeed. My former messy, dirty blonde hair turned into soft strands that lay neatly on my head and its color brilliantly matched the golden rays of the sun. And my eyes…I looked like I had emeralds for eyes…they were green as grass, bright like jewel stones…

"Wow…I'm a narcissist today" I gently laughed to myself. I took a few more seconds to stare at my reflection before I ended up looking at Chad and Kuki's reflection.

_Nope. Still no jealousy crap._

I smiled gleefully at the ceiling. It felt like a dream indeed. All of a sudden, a strange call interrupted my "dream".

"WALLY!" I heard. I sat up in confusion and looked around at my friends. By the looks on their faces, they obviously heard it too. After realizing that the call came from outside, I decided to stand up and investigate. But before I could even get up, the door suddenly slammed open and Mushi came running in. She jumped on me causing me to fall over and my upper body ended up on the floor.

"Mushi" I tried to stop her while she covered my face with kisses, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, silly!" She giggled and she continued to kiss me, "How's my sweetie?"

"Fine…" I muttered.

"Wally?" Abby gasped, "You're dating Mushi?"

"AGAIN?" Nigel added.

"Yeah" I said after Mushi stopped the kisses, "Hoagie and Kuki knew"

I'll be completely honest. Mushi still annoys me. My heart may have slipped from Kuki's hands but it was yet to be captured by Mushi. So as she showed endless signs of her fondness for me, I remained uninterested. The only thing that caught my full attention was the look on Kuki's face, that pure and insecure and envious face. That was the second cause of my bliss. The jealousy that was once so fond of me now chose to victimize her.

A few days have passed and nothing has changed. I was still free of the emotional torments, I was still with Mushi and Kuki's jealousy still amused me. Everything was finally at peace…at least for me.

"Wanna bite?" Joey offered me his peanut butter and jelly sandwich as I lazily lie on the couch.

"Nope" I smiled at him.

For a second he stared at me while he chewed his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Staring back at him amused me. He had such a bizarre expression on his face. His wide, curious and innocent eyes stared blankly at me while his lips and jaws moved around, chewing his snack. The peanut butter and jelly that was smudged around his mouth made him look stranger.

_Weird kid…_ I laughed to myself. 

"Why are you smiling?" He asked me.

"No reason"

"Is something funny?"

I smiled and ignored his question. Instead I grabbed a moist tissue from near by and wiped off the mess on his face. He blinked constantly and fidgeted his head around as I cleaned his face up. I laughed while he did this.

_Cute little tyke…_

"So" I said when I finished the cleaning, "Where's your playmate? What's her name? Nicky?"

"She's visiting her grandma today"

"Awww…do you miss your little girlfriend?"

"Ew! She's not my girlfriend!"

"Oh well. So you don't have anything to do today?"

Joey took the last bite of his sandwich and shook his head.

"Well, what do you want to do?"

"I dunno"

All of a sudden, the doorbell rang and I got up to get it. I opened it and felt no emotion of surprise or relief when I saw who it was.

"Hey Mushi" I said blankly.

"Hi" She smiled and she gave me a peck on the lips.

"Why are you here?" I asked her as she came in.

"I'm your girlfriend, remember?"

_Oh…right…_

"Hey Joey" Mushi shuffled my little brother's hair.

Joey didn't reply to her. He just walked away, patting his own hair down to make it neat. I knew that he didn't like Mushi that much. He didn't hate her but he didn't care about her either. He preferred Kuki, who loved fixing his hair rather than messing it up.

"Damn, your little brother is so anti-social"

"Believe me. He's not an anti-social"

"Oh so you're saying he just doesn't like me?"

"Quite possibly"

Mushi narrowed her eyes at me and said, "Shut up and go upstairs with me"

It was just like the few days that had passed. Mushi and I both lay on my bed, acting as if the other one wasn't there. The only way we made our presence known to each other was when we made out.

"You're such a good kisser" Mushi smiled, "That's so hot"

I stared at the ceiling, ignoring her as usual. I knew she was staring at me but didn't care.

"Wally?"

"What?"

"When are you gonna treat me like a real girlfriend?"

"Never. We had a deal, remember?"

"Yeah but that's no excuse for you to treat me like a nobody"

"What's your point?"

She stared at me for a second. "Don't use me as an instrument to make Kuki jealous. It's not her fault that she fell in love with Chad"

"She's still a bitch…"

"HEY!" She said, "I know Kuki can get so annoying but she's my sister. Don't call her a bitch!"

I sighed and turned over to my side. I closed my eyes because I was tired.

"I have a surprise for you"

I opened my eyes and watched her as she took something out from her pocket. It was an extremely tiny tube, no larger than the cover of a pen, and it had some liquid inside. I watched Mushi as she took off its seal and she leaned by my side and smiled at me. Then slowly, she spread some of the liquid on her lips and on to mine. I was confused for a minute but when I licked the liquid off my lips, my heart raised and my eyes widened. Right away, I grabbed Mushi's arms and pinned her down to the bed. She laughed and smiled at me, finding no threat on what I just did.

"I want some more" I demanded.

"So you like it?" She grinned at me.

I licked my lips desperately and the taste of the vodka aroused me. "Give the tube to me _now_"

Still wearing her confident smile, she raised the tube to my face. I grabbed it hurriedly and poured the last few drops into my mouth. It was amazing. The taste of the intense, fiery liquid in my mouth made me feel good.

"I want some more" I demanded of Mushi.

"I think you forgot about the fact that you're not supposed to drink" She said.

I fumed because she was really starting to piss me off. Once again I pinned her down on the bed and threatened her. But she just laughed at my face.

"There's no point in pinning me" She said, "It just makes thing hotter"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Think about it, sweetie. You're pinning me down on your bed"

I watched her furiously as she smiled confidently at me.

"Come on…" She said, "It's just a few drops. It won't kill you if you don't get more"

I thought about what she said. She's right. I gently removed my hands from her wrists but I remained on top of her. I was staring at her lips. I then remembered that she put some of the vodka on her lips before putting them on mine. Slowly, I leaned towards her and kissed her. Strange enough, the taste of the vodka didn't matter. I preferred the kiss itself.


	8. The Badass Couple

_**The Bad-ass Couple**_

"Shit…" I muttered after coming out from the tent and sitting on a log beside Mushi.

"What's wrong?" Nigel asked me.

"I forgot my lighter"

"Lighter? What for?"

I raised the cigarette in my hand to show him

"Wait a minute!" Abby said, "I thought you quit smoking!"

"I started again" I said, "But I do it in small doses this time"

"Why don't you light your cigarette on the bonfire?" Hoagie laughed.

I leaned over a bit to do what he said but Mushi pulled me back.

"Wally, no! You'll burn your face off!" She said. Then she took a marshmallow and put in on a stick. And after holding it over the bonfire, she raised the flaming marshmallow for me. "Here you go, sweetie"

I lit my cigarette from the flame on the marshmallow she held up. "Thanks" I said.

"Wow" Lizzie said to us, "That's kinda sweet" 

"And when she says sweet" Nigel added, "She means in _your_ version"

Mushi and I smiled at them and then at each other. It's been three weeks since she and I got together and things are still going great. I've grown to become fond of her and she and I are now acting like a real couple. Our relationship was still "fake" but that didn't stop us from bonding well. Also, our make out sessions were no longer empty. We actually had connections in our kisses now.

"It's great that we decided to go camping" Lizzie said and she lay in Nigel's arms, "Isn't it a beautiful night, Nigee?"

"Yeah it is" Nigel smiled.

"You two are so cute" Mushi said to them. "Wally, I should have a nickname for you too!"

"Forget it" I said. I glanced for second at everyone in the circle and my eyes passed Kuki. She was leaning on Chad who had his arms around her but she wore a grim expression on her face. I knew why. She was jealous of Mushi and me. I don't know whether she knew of the jealousy or not but I didn't care. As long as I know she's jealous, I'm good. Yes, it's true. It's been weeks but I still find Kuki's jealousy very amusing. It was her turn to suffer.

"Here you go, gorgeous" Mushi offered me a marshmallow.

"I don't want it" I said.

The smiled on her face turned into something more of a scowl. "Eat it" She demanded.

"No"

"Eat it now!"

"Shut up!"

"Fine…asshole"

"Bitch"

"You know" Hoagie joked to Abby, "In _their_ language, that means 'I love you' and "I love you too'"

Everybody laughed. Lately all jokes related to me and Mushi involved phrases like, "In their way, that is…" or "By that, they mean…" or "In their version…" Mushi and I knew perfectly well what they meant. We both didn't know how it started but people who knew of our relationship called us "The Bad-ass Couple". Apparently, my well-known reputation as a rebellious tough guy made good chemistry with Mushi's reputation for being a charming but mischievous player. So, we were known as two "trouble-makers" in a relationship. But despite all that, Mushi and I never paid attention to our little reputation. All we cared about was having fun together.

"Smoking is so gross" Lizzie remarked.

"Well I'm a pretty gross person" I smiled at her.

"Can I try it?" Mushi smiled at me.

"Try what?"

"Smoking. Can I try?"

"Sure"

Before I could do anything, Kuki snapped at her. "Mushi, smoking is bad!"

"Leave her alone, Kuki" I said, "You may be the older sister but she can do what she wants"

I could tell that everyone, excluding Lizzie and Chad, was shocked at what I just said. I just shut Kuki up. They were all oblivious to the fact that I was _over_ her.

"Wally, maybe you shouldn't let Mushi smoke" Nigel suggested.

Before I could reply to him, Mushi stood up for her self. "You guys treat me like a little girl" She said, "I'm thirteen. I'm a teenager now and I can smoke if I want"

I laughed at everyone's speechlessness. "You guys got told off by a pre-teen!"

"Stop calling me that!" Mushi smacked me on the head.

I didn't stop laughing at her and she just continued to hit me violently but playfully.

"You are so cute" She kissed me.

"You guys, we're right here! Don't do that in front of us, you nasty!" Abby said.

"Fine" I laughed, "We'll save it for the tent"

"Wally!" Mushi snapped playfully as I continued to laugh, "That is so inappropriate! My sister is right there!"

"I don't care" I continued to laugh. I didn't act like that with Mushi because I knew that Kuki was watching us. I acted like that with Mushi because I liked her. She's a fun girl. She and I got along well.

"Come on, Wally" She said, "Let me try a cigarette"

She reached out for my pack of cigarettes but before she could even touch them, I wrapped my arm around her waist and pressed my lips against hers. I kissed her so intensely that she actually bent back with my arm as her only guide. For fun, I blew cigarette smoke down her throat. I was laughing when I let go. And after coughing for a while, she started laughing too.

"That was sick, Beatles" Abby said.

"It's okay, Abby" Mushi said, "I think he's cute" And she kissed me on the cheek. I smiled at her while I took another wisp on my cigarette.

"Now let me try" Once again she reached for my pack.

But then I stopped her. "Use this" I said and I held up my cigarette. For some reason, I wouldn't let her lips touch anything that my own lips haven't touched. Gently, I held the cigarette and placed it on her lips. And she took a wisp. I smiled as I watched her blow the smoke out.

"What do you think about it?" Lizzie asked her.

"It's not bad" She said and she turned to me, "Can you do that thing where the smoke forms a ring?"

Without saying a word to her I puffed out the smoke, forming rings with them. She giggled in amusement and I smiled for making her happy. By now I'm so fond of Mushi that her amusement has become my amusement too. She and I were now a couple.


	9. Prisoner

**_Prisoner _**

Mushi traced her finger around my chest as she kissed me gently. It was early in the morning and I was lying on a sleeping bag while we had a make out session in the privacy of our tent. A few weeks ago a moment like this would've been dull and the kisses would've been empty. But now it was different. We actually connected with each other and felt passion on each kiss. Mushi and I stopped kissing when we heard the zipper of the tent entrance open.

"Hey guys" Hoagie stuck his head in, "There's breakfast out he-" He stopped dead in his words.

"What's wrong?" Mushi smiled at him.

"Uh..." He mumbled, "Did you two…sleep like that?"

Mushi smiled at me. For a second I didn't know what Hoagie meant until Mushi started tapping my chest with her finger commenting on my bare naked torso. I sighed and smiled at Hoagie. "We didn't do _anything_, Hoagie" I said.

"Oh" He gave us an awkward smile, "Okay…"

After he left Mushi and I gave out a few laughs.

"I just love it when we freak people out like that" She said.

"Yeah" I smiled.

"It's strange though…if Hoagie thinks we're doing it, who knows who else could think that...?"

I thought about what she said, and then I whispered, "Your sister…"

Half an hour later, after breakfast and talks, we all went for a swim at a lake nearby. Everyone jumped right in and the only people left dry were Mushi, Kuki, Hoagie and me.

"Wally, come on!" Mushi tugged my arm.

"Nah…" I moaned as I lay on a towel.

"Come on!"

"Later, Mushi!"

"Wally!"

"Later!"

"Ha! I know what this is about...you still can't swim can you?"

"Yes I can. I learned when I was ten. We do have a pool in our back yard, you know"

"A pool that's filled with sand"

"I'm still not swimming with you"

"Fine! You're not getting any kisses for the rest of the day"

"Sure. Let's just hope you last long enough" I laughed.

Mushi groaned and went into the water. And there I was, lying down with my eyes closed. I thought back to what I said about swimming. I learned when I was ten. I remember that well…Kuki was drowning and I saved her even though I was afraid of the water.

"Um…I'm gonna go dip myself into the water a bit…" I heard Hoagie mumble. I opened my eyes and watched him walk away, leaving Kuki and me alone. I sat up and sighed, not feeling awkward at all to be with her. I didn't really care that we were alone…not anymore… For a few minutes we sat together quietly, watching everyone in the lake. But soon I got tired of watching them and I looked at Kuki. She glanced at me for a second and gave out an awkward laugh.

"What's so funny?" I asked her blankly.

"Um…nothing…" She avoided my stare.

I could sense the uneasiness from her. This was the first time I've seen her in discomfort around me. "Are you alright?"

"Fine…"

"It looks like there's something wrong. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Don't worry about me, I'm good…"

"Why don't you join Chad in the water?"

"Not right now…"

I looked away from her. I could tell that talking to me was the last thing she wanted for now. But I was wrong.

"So…" She started.

I turned to look at her and I could visibly see the difficulty she was going through just to talk.

"I see you and Mushi are getting along pretty great"

"Yeah we are. You're sister is a fun girl" She looked down uneasily for a second. It was then that I decided to taunt her. "Jealous?"

She looked at me shockingly for a moment as if to say I said something outrageous.

"What's the matter? Are you and Chad not having as much fun as you used to?"

She gave me a fake smile and said, "I never I was jealous, Wally"

"You never said you weren't either" I smiled at her.

The fake smile on her face disappeared and was replaced by a perplexed frown. She no longer uttered a word to me. She just stood up and got into the water and went to Chad.

After a few minutes, Hoagie got out of the water and sat beside me. "I saw you talking to Kuki earlier" He said.

"Yeah, so?"

"Nothing…so what did you two talk about?"

"She was just asking me about my relationship with Mushi"

"What did you tell her?"

"I just told her that Mushi and I are doing great" Then I grinned, "Also, I teased her a bit"

"What do you mean teased?"

"About her being jealous"

"What?"

"Come on, she's been dreading over Mushi and me ever since we got together. It's so obvious"

"But did you really have to tease her?"

"I was just having a little bit of fun"

"By messing with her emotions?"

"Why are you taking her side? It's not my fault that she's jealous but if she gonna dread over Mushi and me then I would love to watch. It's turn to suffer now. After all, she did the same to me, didn't she?"

"She never teased you about your jealousy, Wally. She never even knew how you felt"

"I don't care. She still hurt me"

"Is that the reason why you're with Mushi? To use her to make Kuki jealous?"

I turned my head to look at him. He was really starting to piss me off. "Mushi and I are together because we like each other. I'm not dating her to make anyone jealous, okay?"

For a minute there was a thick silence between us. But then he spoke again, "I thought you loved Kuki?"

I looked at him heatedly, "That's right…I _loved_ her…" Then I stood up and joined Mushi in the water.

Mushi and I smiled at each other and wrapped our arms around each other. Half our bodies were submerged underwater while we had a moment alone in an isolated spot in the lake. Burying my face in her neck, I allowed her to soothe me by running her hand through my wet hair. This was the first time we had a moment with each other where we didn't make out. Realizing this, I thought that maybe it was possible that we were having a _romantic_ moment. I thought back to my conversation with Hoagie earlier. I didn't want to admit it but I had a hunch that he was right in some ways, especially about my relationship with Mushi.

_Where am I going with this relationship anyway? I'm in a fake relationship, trying to get away from past emotions… Am I really using Mushi…? That's impossible! I like her, don't I? No…I'm not using her…I'm dating her because I like her…_

I lifted my head a bit and rested my chin on Mushi's shoulder. My eyes scanned around the place until they led to a couple hugging several feet away. Chad and Kuki. I continued to watch them, focusing on Kuki who was resting the side of her head on Chad's shoulder while they hugged. She was looking sideways…looking at me… The moment our eyes met, everything blocked out and all that we could see was each other. It was strange…it was like we were talking to each other with our eyes. All of a sudden, I felt the urge to go to her and she looked like she wanted to come to me too. But both of us didn't move. It was strange. It was like we were both prisoners of two different cells. Kuki was locked up in Chad's arms and I was the same with Mushi. I didn't know what I really wanted, freedom or jail?

_What will I get out of being free…? Before Mushi, I only lived in a different cage…one where I was locked up from Kuki. Free or not, I won't get her and I never will…The only time I felt better was when I ended up with Mushi… Liberating myself from her would be a trap…I'd be back where I started…I'd be alone and I still won't get Kuki…It's best for me to stay locked up…it's the only thing closest to freedom…_

After thinking, I looked back at Kuki and saw the misery on her face as she watched me hug Mushi. Her jealousy was supposed to be amusing but I found myself getting hurt by it all of a sudden. I looked away to avoid the pain.

_No…I won't go back to that feeling… _

I brought my eyes back on her only to say something with them.

_It's over between us, Kuki…we're with someone else now…it's better off that way…it_'s _better stay locked up…_


	10. Photo

_**Photo **_

The next two days after the camping trip weren't so good for me. I kept thinking about Kuki. I kept wondering about how I feel towards her now. I've told myself a million times that I'm better of with Mushi. I still think that. Yet, I can sense this tiny hint of passion for Kuki buried deep down inside me.

_What am I doing? I shouldn't be thinking about Kuki…I'm with Mushi now…Forget Kuki…_

The door of my room opened and Mushi came in. "Hi!" She jumped on me. She kissed me for as second before pulling away to smile at me. I smiled back at her.

I should be thinking about you…and only you…you're my girlfriend… 

"Are you alright?" She asked me.

"Yeah" I said blankly. I watched her as she lay down beside me. Obviously, this wasn't the right time for another make out. So we just lay there quietly staring at the ceiling.

"Wally…?" She called softly.

"Yeah…?"

"What are you thinking?"

"Nothing important…"

"Oh…are we just gonna lie here all day…?"

"I dunno…"

The thick silence devoured the both of us once again. Our ridiculously dull conversation a few seconds ago made me think.

_What are we gonna do after this? Make out again? Is that what we're going to do? Make out forever? Suck on each other's face of for the rest of our lives?_

I sighed in disbelief.

My relationship with Mushi is nothing but make outs…it's senseless…Is this relationship going anywhere? Am I falling in love with her? I have to…it's the only way to forget about Kuki completely… Mushi sighed and sat up to face me. "We have to do something!" She said, "I'm bored!" 

I stared at her for a second as my thoughts roamed around my mind. Finally, I sat up and gave her the most passionate kiss we've ever had.

"Wow!" She breathed when I pulled away, "That was so random. But I liked it"

I stared at her blankly. That wasn't the reaction that I was hoping for.

"Are you okay?" She asked me.

"Fine…" I leaned back on the headboard of my bed. For a while I was looking down, thinking. And when I looked up at Mushi, I said, "Can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" She smiled.

I felt hesitant to speak for a second, but I gathered up my nerves. I had to ask her this. "…Do you love me…?"

The smile on her face was replaced by an expression of shock and worry. "W-why are you asking me that?"

"Just tell me your answer…"

"Um…uh…" The look of worry dominated over her face. I knew that she was worried about what to say.

"Don't worry about your answer, Mushi. I won't care no matter what you say"

"Well…uh…I can't say I do. I mean we had a deal, Wally. Our relationship can never get serious. You know that"

I looked away from her. "Oh…"

She was staring at me for a while, worried at what I might be thinking…or feeling… "Wally…?"

I looked back at her again. "Yeah?"

"You're not…in love with me or something…are you?"

"…No…"

Relief suddenly overcame her. She gave out a thankful sigh. "Why are you asking me how I feel then?"

"…No reason"

"Wally" She crossed her arms, "Seriously, tell me. Did you ask me because you want to do it or something?"

"Would you do it with me if I asked you to?" I smiled at her.

She hit me playfully and laughed, "I'm too young!"

"I know. I was just kidding"

"Good" A short moment passed by before she spoke again. "Seriously…why were you asking me that question…?"

"I was just wondering"

"Wondering about what?"

"If maybe it was possible for us to go further in our relationship. I mean we can't just make out for ever"

"But part of our deal was to break up if we found someone else"

"I know. But I didn't find anyone else. I only have you"

"So that's why you're wondering about our relationship?"

"Yeah…"

Mushi sighed and shrugged. "I'll be honest with you Wally. I really don't see us getting romantic or anything"

I stared at her as I continued to listen.

"I think we were meant to be just two people goofing around. I'm sorry but that's what I see when it comes to us"

I nodded at her and looked away. "It sucks to know that I can't be with the people I like…"

"People?" She repeated.

I looked back at her, wondering what she was thinking.

"Does this conversation by any chance involve Kuki?"

I continued to stare at her.

"Do you still love her?"

I shook my head. "No…I don't…"

"Oh"

"Besides, she and I weren't meant to be"

"Why would you say that?"

"Because she's meant to be with Chad. They're perfect for each other. Imagining them together is so easy and clear. When I imagine Kuki with me, it's all a blur…"

Mushi smiled at me. "It isn't a blur in _my_ mind"

"…What do you mean…?"

"I can imagine the two of you together so easily…Kuki the innocent preppy girl with Wally the bad-ass rebel. It's really cute"

"You are aware of the fact that I'm your boyfriend, right? What the hell are you doing imagining me with someone else?"

"You're not my real boyfriend!"

I laughed a bit. "Mushi, when I said what I imagined was blur, I didn't just mean the compatibility. I meant the romance we have. What kind of lame ass love would that be?"

Mushi tilted her head and looked up. "I can still imagine you guys clearly. Hugging…kissing…it's really sweet"

I kept my eyes on her as she imagined us. Next thing I knew I was trying to see what she saw in her mind. Little by little the blurred image in my mind that I told her about started to clear up. It made me tremble all of a sudden.

"What's wrong?" Mushi said in alarm after seeing me shake.

"It was nothing…" I said.

"Okay…" She said, "So…what are you gonna do to get over Kuki?"

I looked at her, feeling shocked at what I just heard. I wasn't shocked at what she meant to say. I was shocked at how she said it. "You mean what I _did_ to get over her…"

"That's what I asked you" 

"No. You asked me what I'm _gonna do_ to get over her"

"Oh…" She said with a bit of shock.

"Why would you say that?"

"Um…it's nothing to worry about, Wally. They're just words. They don't mean anything"

"…Right…You're completely right, they don't mean anything…"

"So," She continued, "what _did_ you do to get over her? What did you do to your feelings?"

"Kinda like what you do to a photo when you want to forget about it. Hide it away…or burn it…get rid of it…"

"Oh…Don't you think…um…never mind…"

"What is it?"

"It's just that…when it comes to pictures…burning and hiding are practically the same. You can do either but it won't get rid of the meaning of the picture. It's still there"

I stared at Mushi for a second, trying to understand what she just told me. Before I could ask her about it, she spoke.

"I have to go. I'm meeting some friends" She smiled and gave me a peck on the lips, "See ya"

I spent the whole afternoon sitting in my room, thinking about what Mushi told me.

_The metaphor with the picture…what did it mean…?_

I knew the answer the whole time but I didn't want to face it. It was obvious. Mushi was telling me that I still might have feelings for Kuki. It all adds up. I felt weak and scared to know that I may still love her. I didn't want to go back to that feeling. I didn't want to suffer again.

_That's why I don't love Mushi…I'm only fond of her…I'm using my fondness for Mushi to cover up my feelings for Kuki…_


	11. Childhood Memories

_**Childhood Memories**_

I stood still in front of the door with my eyes staring straight down. I wanted to knock but I couldn't. A few hours ago, I had all this planned. I knew exactly what to do and what to say, it was all clear. But now that I'm here, it all became a blur.

"Screw it…" I whispered and turned to walk away. I've only taken a few steps when all of a sudden the door opened behind me.

"Wally?" Kuki called.

I stopped dead in my footsteps and slowly turned to her.

"Are you here to see Mushi…?"

I tried to tell her that I meant to see _her_ but I couldn't.

"She's not here right now" She said.

I continued to stare at her while attempting to tell her that I didn't come to see Mushi. I came to hang out with her. Then again, what will I get out of that? It's not like she's gonna fall madly in love with me if I spend time with her for a few hours. "Could you just tell her that I came by…?" I said.

She gave me a jealous frown and nodded. "Okay…I'll make sure she gets the message"

Then she closed the door. I took a minute to stare at the door before turning around again to leave. For some strange reason, I found it hard to walk away from their house. I turned around again. I stared at their house and hoped for something, anything, to happen. I stood for about a minute before turning to walk away again. All of a sudden…

"WALLY!"

I turned and saw the open front door, and Kuki standing on the front steps.

"You wanna…come in for a second?"

I gazed at her for a second, confused by her sudden invitation. "…Why?"

"Well…it's kinda cold out here…" She said uneasily, "You came all this way to see Mushi…so maybe you should just wait for her"

Two minutes later we were both sitting on the couch quietly, drinking hot chocolate. We both knew that we wanted to be with each other despite the difficult and awkward silence. From time to time, our eyes met but it was only for a second. We always ended up looking away from each other. We didn't know how we would start a conversation. It came to the point that I became so desperate to talk to her that I spoke of the first topic that I came up with.

"Joey misses you" I blurted out.

"What?"

"Joey. He misses you"

"Really?" A smile appeared upon her face.

"Yeah" I smiled back at her, "Yesterday he kept asking me about you"

"What did he say?"

"He just kept asking me why you don't come to my house anymore. He really wants to see you"

"But…doesn't Mushi come over all the time?"

"He doesn't like Mushi that much" I laughed a bit, "He prefers you"

Kuki tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiled. "I miss him too"

"…You can come over if you want"

"What…?"

"You can visit him…whenever you want. He'd love it"

She and I smiled at each other. Although I liked her smile, I found it intimidating so I turned away and looked around. My eyes led to a framed photo sitting on a shelf. I recognized the people in the photo right away. It was the whole gang.

"Is that us?" I pointed at the photo.

"Yeah. That's us when we were ten" Kuki smiled and approached the shelf. "I have a whole album of the gang's pictures" She reached for an album in the shelf and sat back down beside me. On the cover of the album was a copy of the same picture on the frame. She started flipping the pages, showing me each picture and telling me about it.

"This is a picture of us on the beach…this one is a picture of us in the tree house and…here's a picture of Nigel and Lizzie…"

"Wow…"

"What is it?"

"I've forgotten how fat Lizzie used to be"

Kuki punched me on the shoulder playfully and we both laughed. The photos made us forget about the awkwardness that was supposed to be present between us.

"Look! Here's one of you and me" She pointed to a picture of us as ten-year-olds. "You look so grumpy"

"And so short" I laughed. Kuki smiled and flipped onto another page.

"The pictures on this page are so cute"

I smiled at the pictures of her hugging me when we were kids. It was funny to see the big goofy smile on her face and the grumpy frown on mine. I used to put that face on whenever she would hug me. I used it to hide my crush on her.

Kuki flipped on to another page. "Oh. This is a different section"

"What section is it?"

"It's the teenage section" She laughed, "It contains pictures of the gang at the age of thirteen and above"

I scanned every picture on the section. I noticed that on almost every picture with Kuki and me, I had a serious look on my face. I knew exactly why. I was thirteen when I realized that my crush on Kuki was not just a crush. I realized that I had feelings for her. And as the years passed, those feelings grew more intense…but then at the age of sixteen, it happened. Kuki fell in love with somebody else.

"Wally?"

I snapped out of my trance and looked at her.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah…I'm fine…"

She stared at me for a second to see if I was telling the truth. I felt not a hint of uneasiness as I stared back at her. Finally, she went back to scanning the album and I scanned it along with her. She was about to turn to another page when she stopped and closed the album

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Uh…it's nothing…" She said nervously. "There are no more pictures…"

I looked directly into her eyes and knew that she was lying. There was something in that album that she was trying to hide from me. I continued to stare at her and saw that I intimidated her. And just like a helpless child, she failed to prevent me from easily taking the album. When I took it, it just gently slipped from her hands. I looked at her before opening it but she dodged my eyes. When I turned to the last page, I quickly understood why she felt embarrassed. The last page was filled with childish drawings, hearts and doodles. The last page was a collage…of me.


	12. Limited Passion

**_Note: This chapter is a bit intense. There are gonna be some words and events that can be a bit "inappropriate", if you know what I mean. hehe. But I didn't write them in detail so...yeah. That's it. please R&R )_**

****

**_Limited Passion_**

I kept my eyes focused on the collage. It was unbelievable and strange to see a whole page dedicated to me. It was a typical teenybopper crush collage. There were pictures glued on every spot, some of them with hearts drawn around and my name was written in different forms.

"I made that when I was fourteen" Kuki sighed, "This is so embarrassing…"

I continued to scan the page while she moved restlessly by my side. I was still shocked to find out that such a thing existed.

"Let's put that away" She took the album from me. "It's just a silly thing from the past" I watched her put the album back on the shelf and sit back down beside me. Once again, there was an awkward silence between us.

"Does Chad know about your…old feelings for me…?" I broke the silence.

"No. I tried to tell him loads of times but…no…"

"How come you weren't able to tell him?"

"It's not that easy"

Her last few words didn't seem right for me. "How can it be difficult for you…?" I asked her, "It's from _the past_…isn't it? It's not supposed to be that important to you…"

There was a brief silence as we stared at each other. The only sound we heard was the strong autumn breeze outside. Other than that, there was nothing but cold silence.

"You still love me don't you…?" I asked her.

She stared back at me with no signs of intimidation or anxiety. Suddenly, I saw it in her eyes. I saw all her emotions…and I knew that she still had feelings for me… Next thing I knew, I kissed her. It only lasted for a second because I pulled away immediately. I knew that my kiss would be a shock to her and she wouldn't accept it. I kept my face inches from hers and stared into her eyes. She wasn't angry nor was she shocked. To my surprise, she allowed me to kiss her again, and the second kiss was no longer a short one. As long as she accepted it, I kept kissing her…and that kiss was more passionate than anything else that I have ever felt. That single kiss from Kuki was more powerful than all the kisses from Mushi. Kuki placed her arms around my neck and lay back on the couch, pulling me down along with her. I continued to kiss her and I wanted it to be that way forever. That moment was the first time that I felt _real_ happiness in months. She was all that I wanted this whole time…

"Wait…" Kuki whispered and she gently pushed me away.

I didn't get off her. "What is it…?" I tried to kiss her again.

"Wally…no…" She stopped me. "We can't do this…"

"Oh come on!" I said abruptly.

She pushed me away to get me off her and she stood up. I watched her as she paced the room worriedly. "This is wrong…" I heard her whisper. I stood up and approached her. I couldn't believe that she would refuse to let a moment like this go on.

"Kuki…" I held her on the shoulders, "Don't think of anything else. Just think of _us_ for now…"

"I can't…" She said sadly and released herself from my grip.

I massaged my forehead to avoid a headache. "Why are you making things so complicated…?"

"That's not what I'm doing, Wally. I'm trying to avoid things from becoming complicated…"

"How are you making things less complicated by depriving yourself from what you want!"

"By stopping myself from cheating on my boyfriend with a guy who's dating my sister!"

"You're not cheating, Kuki!" I screamed at her, "You're just denying the fact that you still love me!"

She stared back at me, her eyes filled with intense anger. I knew that she was feeling pressured by all this but I didn't want her to turn away from her emotions.

"Why won't you let us be together?" I asked gently.

She continued to look at me with wide-eyed fury. "How could you?" She said in a shaky voice, "You're dating my sister and you're willing to cheat on her with me!"

I wasn't surprised that she was angry, nor was I affected by her words. "I'd leave her if I have to…" I told her, "I still love you, Kuki…"

As if my words were bullets that shot her, Kuki stumbled back. She was able to stay on her feet despite the overwhelming emotions she felt. "I thought you said you'd get over me…?"

"I told you that I'd deal with you being with Chad. I never said I'd get rid of my emotions. I tried to but I couldn't" I slowly stepped towards her and took her hands into mine, "Kuki, you and I both want to be with each other. You know that. Just let it happen, I'm begging you…"

"…I can't…" She said, "I love Chad…I can't break his heart just to be with you…"

Her words were like blades ripping through my heart. "What about me!" I said angrily, "You're gonna break my heart for him!"

"What about my sister?" She screamed back, "You're gonna break her heart if you leave her for me!"

"MUSHI DOESN'T LOVE ME!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, "DON'T YOU SEE! YOU'RE TRAPPED, KUKI! WHETHER YOU STAY WITH CHAD OR NOT, YOU'D JUST END UP BREAKING SOMEONE'S HEART!"

Tears started to come out of her eyes. The sight of them weakened me.

"You have to choose…" I held her shoulders, "You have to choose between me and him…"

"Don't make me do this…" She begged tearfully.

As I looked into her eyes, I saw the difficulty that she was going through. She couldn't do it. She couldn't leave Chad… I weakly let her go and walked towards the couch. I dropped myself onto it and buried my face into my hands. It was all too much for me to take. When I lifted my head a bit, I looked into my hands. And I saw my tears on them…

I sat on the couch for what must've been hours and Kuki didn't move either. She just sat quietly on the floor and leaned back on the wall. Although she had stopped crying, I could tell that she still felt dreadful. Neither of us wanted to speak. There was nothing left to talk about. We had no choice but to sit back and suffer through it all. I closed my eyes and breathed heavily. I wanted all the emotions inside me to disappear. While struggling with the pain, I allowed myself to listen to every single sound around me. I listened to the ticking of the clock, the howling of the winds outside and my own breath. All of a sudden, I heard something different. I heard the sound of a teaspoon clanking against a mug. When I opened my eyes, I saw Kuki cleaning up the unfinished cups of hot chocolate on the coffee table. I silently watched her bring them to the kitchen and come back to sit on the other side of the couch. There she was, two feet away from me, still not wanting to talk. I was about to speak when suddenly the front door's locks clicked and Mushi came in. When she saw us, she looked puzzled.

"Wally?" She said.

"…Hi" I tried to sound as typical as I could. I stood up and greeted her with a kiss, a short one.

"What are you doing here?"

"I just came to see you"

"Aw…that's sweet! How long have you been waiting?"

"A few hours"

"Wow"

"Anyway…I have to go…"

"What? But I thought you came to see me?"

"Yeah but…I didn't know that you'd arrive at this time. I'm supposed to be at home" I lied to her.

"Oh, okay. Are you sure you don't wanna stay?"

I took one short glance at Kuki. She was looking away from us. "I'm sure" And I left their house.

I opened the door to my house dreadfully and walked in.

"Wally!" My mom greeted, "Where have you been?"

"Just to a friend's house…"

"Well, get dressed son!" My father said, "We're goin' out to eat!"

I sighed miserably. "I'm not really in the mood to go out…"

"What's wrong?" Mom started to feel my forehead, "Are you sick?"

"No…I'm just…really not in the mood…You guys can go without me"

"Well that's too bad" Dad said, "Joey was really looking forward to going out with the whole family"

All of a sudden, Joey came hopping into the room and he ran to me. "Wally! We're going out to eat!" He jumped excitedly.

"I know…" I lifted him up and sat on the couch, "But I'm not going"

"Why not?"

"I don't feel too good"

"What's wrong?"

"I can't tell you"

"Is it a flu?"

"No"

"What's wrong?"

"Joey…"

"Aw come on, Wally! It won't be much fun without you!"

I had nothing else to say to him so I just smiled and put him down.

"We'll just bring you some food when we get home" Mom said, "We'll be back later"

Two minutes later, I was left alone in the house.

An hour had passed and I barely moved from my spot on the couch. I sat there with a can of Coke, scanning through every dull channel on TV. I started to think that staying home wasn't such a good idea. If I had gone with my family, I would've had something to do. I would have had something to distract myself from my fight with Kuki earlier. I shut the TV off and lay back on the couch. I massaged my forehead in frustration, desperate to get the anger out. All of a sudden the doorbell rang and I just stared at the door.

"Damn door to door salesmen…" I grunted. I stood up and opened the door and I was shocked to see that it wasn't a salesman. It was Kuki.

"Hi…" She said weakly.

I stared back at her, not knowing what to do.

"Can I come in…?"

I didn't want to let her in, yet I found myself unable to refuse. So I stood out of her way and allowed her to walk by. I gently closed the door behind me and stared at her. By the way she avoided eye contact with me, I figured there was nothing to look forward to.

"I'm sorry about earlier" She said in the same weak voice.

I leaned back on the door and looked down. _Sorry isn't enough…_

She ignored my silence and continued, "Wally, I know that this is hard for you. It's hard for me too but I _can't_ leave Chad. I really can't… He doesn't deserve to have his heart broken just like that…"

_Right…I'm always the evil bastard who must be punished…_

"Wally, please say something"

I kept my eyes straight down as she waited for my answer. There was nothing that I could say to her except, "I hope you know how stupid you are…"

Kuki slowly stepped towards me until she was so close that her nose was inches from mine. And gently, she took my face into her hands and lifted my head up. I ended up looking into her eyes and I saw all the pain in them. After that I didn't see anything anymore for I had my eyes closed…because she kissed me.

The strong rain that poured mercilessly outside caused a gloomy shade within my house. Despite the icy weather, my room stayed hot moistening the glass window and mirror. Kuki lay quietly on my bed, staring deeply into my eyes. I leaned a bit closer once again, making our foreheads and the tip of our noses touch. I could feel the heat of her breath along with mine as the sweat from my hair dripped onto the pillows. I kissed her on the lips, then on the neck and she responded by giving out a deep breath and squeezing the cushions with her hand. All of sudden, she rose up and caused the two of us to roll underneath the covers. As she lay on top of me and kissed me, I ran my hands all over her sweaty body and felt every inch of her marble-smooth skin. Again and again we rolled around my bed, pulling the blankets along with us and our bodies passionately touching. I've never felt anything like it. Our burning emotions were expressed through our physical contact with each other. Before I knew it, it was over. Kuki rolled over to my side, covering herself with the blanket and catching up with her breath. As she stared at the ceiling I lay by her side and stared at her. I observed the moisture of sweat on her skin and knew that she was feeling hot. So I got off the bed and lifted the window seal about an inch high to let some air in. When I went back to the bed I stared at her again, watching her damp skin as it slowly dried. I gently moved towards her and wrapped my arms around her while I kissed her on the neck then on the cheek. By the way she ignored me, I could tell that she was still struggling with the pain inside her. I lay there quietly and tried to appreciate the moment as much as I could because I knew that it was our only chance to be in love.

I was awoken early the next morning when I heard the ruffling of clothes. When I opened my eyes, I saw Kuki getting dressed. "You're leaving, already…?" I asked her.

She looked at me anxiously and stuttered, "Uh…yeah…I've been gone all night. My family will worry about me"

I quietly watched her get dressed. "…Are you gonna see Chad today…?"

She froze for a second before moving on. "Yeah…" She said uneasily, "Um, Wally…please don't tell anyone about last night…"

I sat up and took my boxers from the floor and put them on. I sat dolefully on the side of my bed and buried my face into my hands. I couldn't believe that she was still going to leave me after last night. "Why are you doing this…?" I asked her weakly, "Wasn't last night enough proof for you?"

"Last night was a mistake"

"If it was a mistake, you wouldn't have done it…!"

She tried to ignore me and continued to put her pants on. But I stopped her by embracing her from behind. "Please don't leave me…" I begged her quietly.

She trembled a bit at what I said. But her answer wasn't what I hoped for. "I have to" She whispered back. With that she walked out the door and left me. I angrily listened to her leave, from her footsteps down the stairs all the way to the front door closing. The moment that I knew that she was walking through the front yard's pathway, all the anger within me took over and I ran to the window and opened it.

"FUCK YOU!" I screamed down at her furiously. She stopped in between her steps for a minute. She clearly heard what I said yet she didn't turn around. She just went on. Her ignorance only angered me more and I shut the window down and kicked the side of my bed furiously. And I sat down on it and I buried my face into my hands again. I hated her so much for hurting me that I cried. As I breathed heavily to let the anger out, I kept on whispering over and over again, "Stupid bitch…!"


	13. Trick or Treat, Angel's Tears

_**Note: I'm really sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy...and sleepy. Haha. Also, my computer has been having problems. Anyway, I'm gonna make it up to you with a LONG chapter. A lot of events happen in this one so, READ IT! Hehe. Also, for those who are wondering, NO, Kuki will NOT get pregnant. But I just wanna remind the readers that when I said that this fic is an alternative ending and continuation, the alternative ending is just the first chapter. So far, anything can still happen.**_

_**Trick or Treat, Angel's Tears**_

It's been about a month since that night I had been with Kuki and I've shown nothing but anger towards her. For the past few weeks all I've given her the cold shoulder and stated harsh comments for her to hear. Meanwhile she tried to act as typical as possible and she ignored my vile attitude. Although neither of us told anyone of our little conflict with each other, everyone in the gang knew about it but none of them bothered to get involved.

One day, the whole gang was hanging out at the clubhouse again and everyone was there. Just the five of us and no extras like Chad or Lizzie or Mushi. While I kept myself busy watching TV, everyone else talked about an upcoming costume party.

"What's your costume gonna be?" I overheard Nigel ask Kuki.

"I don't really know" She replied, "I haven't thought about it yet"

"Why don't you dress up as a slut?" I said coldly without turning my head, "It would really fit you"

Apparently everyone in the room in the room heard what I said but I didn't care. All that mattered to me was that I felt Kuki's intimidation all the way from where I was, and it made me smile cruelly.

"Could you for once not be a jerk, Wally?" She said heatedly.

I continued to watch TV while everyone waited for me to react. But there was only one word that I could whisper, "…Hypocrite…"

"Oh god!" Abby exclaimed out of annoyance, "Would you two stop it with all this arguing!"

"ABBY!" Hoagie nudged her.

"Oh shut it, Hoagie!" She went on, "I am so tired of watching the two of you fight like this! So would you two just do it with each other already and just get this thing over with!"

Abby's tantrum didn't scare me at all. Instead it made me laugh quietly. _How ironic…she's telling us to do it when we already did…_

"Look," Abby continued, "Both of you know that you wanna be with each other so why don't you just hook up already"

"Why don't you explain that to _her_?" I referred to Kuki, "Just make sure you elaborate clearly. She's a dimwit"

Abby growled in extreme aggravation and left the room. After she slammed the door there was an awkward silence and I could feel Nigel and Hoagie looking at Kuki and me. Next thing I knew I heard her storm out of the room. "You made her cry, Wally" Nigel said. Normally I would've gone out to apologize to Kuki but I didn't. Why would I? I hated her. "What do you want me to do about it?" I muttered. I didn't turn my head to look. Instead, I listened to their reactions and all I heard was the silence of their shock.

Two nights after Abby's tantrum and Kuki's walk out was Holloween night. It was also the night of the costume party that we were going to. I was with Joey at that time and I just finished accompanying him on his trick or treating.

"Wally, look at all the candy I got!" Joey raised his trick or treating bag to show me. I smiled at him as we passed through the side of Nigel's house, on our way to the clubhouse. When I opened the door, I greeted everybody.

"Wally, what are you doing?" Nigel said as he approached me. I almost didn't recognize him because of his cyborg costume, "You can't take Joey to the party"

"I know but I had to take him trick or treating. We could just drop him at my house on the way to the party"

"What party?" Joey tugged on my shirt as we sat on the couch.

"It's nothing" I told him.

"Can I come?"

"You're too young"

"Not fair!"

"Be quiet, Joey" I laughed as I pinned him.

"You look good in that pirate costume, Wally" Abby said while she fixed her hat, designed to make her head look like her brain was sticking out of it "I bet all the girls at the party are gonna drool over you" She smiled at me. Apparently, she was no longer pissed as she was two days ago.

"Hey, where's Mushi?" Hoagie, in his zombie costume, asked me. "Aren't you taking her to the party?"

"Yeah. She's probably on her way here with Kuki"

"Kuki's coming?" Joey jumped up excitedly.

"Yeah" I replied flatly.

"Yay! I bet _she'll_ let me go to the party"

"No she won't. She's evil"

"NO SHE'S NOT!"

"What's up with you lately?" Nigel asked me, "Why have you been completely cruel to Kuki?"

"She did something"

"Is this about the whole thing with her and Chad again? I thought you were over her?"

"She did something worse"

"What did she do?"

"I don't wanna talk about it" I continued to play with Joey as I attempted to forget about what happened with Kuki and me. But all of a sudden the door opened and she appeared with Mushi and Chad. Normally I would have taken my attention to make fun of Chad's Cowboy costume, but I was too busy looking at Kuki. Despite the anger that I felt for her, I was amazed at how she looked. She was wearing an angel costume and she looked more beautiful than ever.

"Kuki!" Joey ran to her.

"Hi Joey" She said sweetly and she lifted him up.

"You look pretty"

"Aw, thank you! Your superhero costume looks great!"

"Thank you" Joey said lovably as he hugged her.

I turned away from them and sat quietly. I didn't want anyone to see that I was gazing at Kuki, mesmerized by her beauty and charmed by her kindness to my little brother. Joey was right. She isn't evil. I may hate her for now but I can never prove that she's evil, never.

"Hey gorgeous" Mushi sat beside me, "Like my dress?"  
I turned to her and observed her Princess costume for merely a second, "Yeah, you look great"

I folded my arms and stared straight ahead again when she punched my shoulder playfully. "You could at least say it like you mean it!"

"I do mean it…!" I said to her.

She smiled at me and leaned forward to kiss me but for some reason, I backed off on impulse. She gave me a curious look, wondering why I did that. As for me, I gave her no response for I didn't know the reason either. "Are you alright?" She asked me.

"Yeah. I'm fine"

"Are you sure? How come you haven't shaved in days"

"It's part of the costume, Mushi" I said blankly about my _short and hardly-noticeable_ beard.

She continued to stare at me, noting that she didn't believe me. But then she just switched back to happy mood all of a sudden. "Okay! Looks nice, you look so rugged grungy and hot" She kissed me on the cheek. This time I accepted her kiss freely, and I didn't dodge…because I forced myself not to.

Half an hour later after dropping Joey at my house, I stood by the snack table at the costume party while Mushi was close by, chatting with her friends.

"Mushi, you're boyfriend looks hot in that pirate costume!"

"Yeah, I could just eat him up!"

"Hey, he's my boyfriend!"

"Dammit Mushi, you're so lucky!"

"Yeah!"

"Don't be so envious, he can get a bit moody. Plus he's a real sexist most of the time. He thinks girls can't do anything right"

"We don't care, he's gorgeous"

"_Super_ gorgeous"

I rolled my eyes at what I heard. Were these pre-teens stupid enough to think that I wouldn't hear them? They're four feet away from me and I could see them in the corner of my eye!

_Hey stupid, you're girlfriend is one of those pre-teens…_The little voice in my head whispered. I sighed in despair. Ever since I dodged Mushi's kiss not long ago, I've been really bothered by thoughts about how I've been acting with her. A month ago we could barely get our hands off each other but now, we were acting like we weren't a couple at all. No…not we…just me. I wouldn't kiss her, I showed no interest in hugging her and I didn't even know I was doing it! As if all those thoughts weren't enough, I ended up realizing that I started acting that way ever since that night with Kuki. I didn't want to admit it but it seemed to me that my focus on Mushi was coming back to Kuki. And I feared that despite my anger, I've started to love her again. 

_I can't! I hate Kuki! I'm supposed to like Mushi, dammit!_

I tried to force the thought of Mushi into my mind but nothing was happening. It was as if I was incapable of liking her in the way that I did when we were camping. As I tried to put my focus back from Kuki to Mushi, I suddenly encountered another challenge that only proved my regained feelings for Kuki. When I looked straight ahead, I saw her and I started to gaze at her beauty. Although I still hated her, I couldn't help but gawk at her. And when I saw that she was dancing with Chad, the jealousy that rose up within me intensified my love, at the same time my hate, for her.

"Hey" Mushi snapped me out of my trance.

"Huh…?"

"You alright?"

I stared at her a bit while reality came crashing back into me, "Yeah…"

"You wanna dance?"

"No…I don't dance" I was lying. I've danced before and I'm really good. I just didn't wanna dance with her.

"Okay" She said, "Hey listen, if you don't mind, my friends and I are just gonna goof around"

"Go ahead"

"It's alright with you?"

"Yeah"

"Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes"

Those minutes turned into hours. I haven't seen Mushi in a while and I was left to sit around either eating or watching the people on the dance floor. It's not that I wanted to be with Mushi, it's just that not having her around made me realize that the party was such a bore for me.

"Hey Walls" Hoagie sat beside me.

"Hey"

"Where's Mushi?"

"Somewhere around here with her friends"

"Oh. She abandoned you?"

"No, not really. I knew she was gonna goof around, I just didn't expect her to be gone this long"

"How long?"

"Two hours"

"Ouch!"

I laughed a bit as I continued to scan through the place.

"Okay Wally, you're not gonna like what I'm about to tell you…"

"What is it…?"

"…I just saw Mushi flirting with some guy three minutes ago…"

"Oh" I said absent-mindedly.

"_Oh_? That's it? That's all you're gonna say?"

"Yep" 

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Dude, you're girlfriend is somewhere in this room goofing with some guy!"

"So…?"

"Do I have to remind you that she's your _girlfriend_?"

I finally turned to Hoagie and sighed. "Alright, I guess you need to know the truth by now…"

"What truth?"

"Mushi and I had a deal months ago"

"What deal?"

"A deal for our relationship to be fake"

"Fake?"

"As in, we can make out and do stuff but we can never fall in love"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah"

I went back to looking around while Hoagie sat in quiet bewilderment. "So it's kinda like an open marriage or something?"

"I wouldn't say that. An open marriage involves love. We're just completely fooling around"

"…You didn't sleep with her did you?"

His question made me look at him peculiarly. "No…why?"

"Just curious. I mean think what would've happened if you were eighteen and she was fifteen. You could've been arrested for doing it with a minor"

"Right…"

"I mean, that's why Chad doesn't do it with Kuki"

"So what? She's not a virgin anyway"

A brief silence passed by before I slapped my hand against my mouth and Hoagie stared at me with wide-eyed shock. "What does that mean?" He questioned me.

"Nothing"

"No, it's not nothing…! I can tell that you know something!"

"It's nothing!"

"Wally!"

"FINE!" I looked around to see if anyone was close by. After making sure that no one was near us, I told him everything. "I slept with Kuki"

He looked at me more shocked than before. "When!"

"A month ago"

"A month ago? But that would mean she cheated on Chad! And you cheated on Mushi!"

"I know that, moron"

"Does anyone else know about that?"

"No, so don't tell anybody"

"Oh…so how'd you two end up in bed together?"

"It's personal"

"Okay. Are you two still doing it up to now?"

"No. That stupid bitch dumped me again after we did it…"

"Seriously…?"

"Yeah"

"That doesn't sound like Kuki"

I took a minute to think about what he said and it only led to me sighing and bowing my head. _No…it doesn't sound like Kuki at all…_

"She didn't mean it…" I said in a low voice. 

"Huh…?"

"She didn't mean to sleep with me, she just got caught up in the moment. She still loves Chad"

"I guess that's why you've been bashing on her, huh?"

I nodded my head slowly. "I guess I'm starting to get punished for it"

"What do you mean?"

"I cheated on my own girlfriend and now she's cheating on me"

"Well, I wouldn't jump right to conclu-"

"Hi guys" As if she appeared out of nowhere, Mushi arrived in front of us with a big smile on her face. Her smile didn't trick me. I could see the gentle pinkish glow that made her giggly and sweet. If Hoagie hadn't told me about the guy she was with, I still would've known buy judging her actions and expressions.

"Sweetie, let's go to the balcony" She pulled my arm. Without thinking twice, I lifted myself up like a zombie and allowed her to drag me along as she walked. In no time, we were alone together in a deserted balcony on that scary but romantic night.

"Isn't this nice?" She snuggled close to me and I responded but embracing her although I didn't want to.

"Yeah" I said, leaning on the marble railings.

"The party's kinda boring"

"I know"

"It's a good thing I was with my friends, they know how to turn a boring night into a great night" She laughed.

"Is that why you were flirting with some guy just now?" I said flatly, "You were bored?"

I was looking out into the scenery from the balcony instead of looking at her. But I knew that she was staring at me. "What are you talking about…?"

"Hoagie said he saw you flirting with someone earlier"

She released herself uneasily from my hug and breathed heavily while she panicked. Meanwhile, I calmly continued to enjoy the scenery.

"Who were you flirting with…?" I asked her without looking at her.

"Sandy" She said nervously, unable to lie.

"Who's he?"

"Um, some guy who was like my boyfriend when I was ten" She continued to pant, "The one who used to have a crush on Kuki"

What she said made me laugh a bit. "Do you always date the guys who have a crush on your sister?"

"Look Wally, I'm really sorry" She said sadly. She continued to babble about how guilty she was and why she flirted with other guys but I merely listened to her. When I thought that she had enough pressure on her, I gently hugged her.

"Don't apologize to me" I said to her quietly, "I don't deserve your apology. You deserve mine"

"What?" She asked when I let go of her.

"You're gonna hate me for this but…I cheated on you"

Her eyes widened a bit as if she didn't know what to feel.

"It was a month ago," I continued, "And I slept with someone else"

For a minute she stayed motionless, staring at me as if she was a statue. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if she was going to hate me or she would do something else, better or worse. "Wow…" She sighed, "That's weird…who'd you sleep with?"

"…It's not important…"

She frowned a bit in a way that made her look seven years old to me again and suddenly I felt myself feeling sorry for her.

"Do you hate me?" I tilted my head and asked her as if I was talking to a child.

"No…" She said in a girly childlike manner, "I mean we had a deal. It was just our mistake because we never expected to cheat on each other" She giggled awkwardly.

"Well what do wanna do now?"

"I don't know"

"Do you like this Sandy guy?"

"Yeah…he's really cute and sweet"

"You know, if you want to break up it's fine with me"

"Really?"

"Yeah"

"Okay"

"So, I guess we're over?"

"Yeah, I guess so"

I gave her a gentle smile and hugged her. For the first time ever, I realized how I really felt about Mushi. I _do_ care about her, just not in a way that a boyfriend would. I cared for her like she was my little sister. "Make sure this Sandy guy treats you right or I'll break his neck" I whispered in her ear. "Awww, you're so big brothery!" She giggled and hugged me tighter. So that was it. I was no longer her so-called boyfriend. I was her so-called big brother.

The rest of the party, although I was alone most of the time, was getting better. Now that Mushi and I were just friends, I felt a part of the heavy weight on my shoulder disappear.

"Wally!" Mushi ran up to me, dragging some thirteen-year-old guy along with her.

I stood up and greeted her with a smile.

"This is Sandy" She pulled the guy closer, "Sandy, this is my ex-boyfriend"

"H-hi…" Sandy said nervously as he shook my hand. I knew exactly who he was and why he was nervous. He was Sandy the dorky "sand castle king", whom I shoved towards the sand for hitting on Kuki once. I smiled at him and teased his fear of me by tightening my grip on his hand. He squealed a bit when he let go, making me laugh quietly.

"Don't worry" Mushi teased his fear too, "He's more like a big brother to me now. So all you have to do is be careful of what you do to me or he'll break your neck"

Sandy forced a laughed, but stopped when he saw that Mushi and I were just staring at him. "U-um…I-I'll go get you a…u-uh…um…drink"

Mushi giggled at me when he left. "Thank you so much for being a sport. That's so sweet of you"

"No problem"

"You know what? I'll make it up to you"

"Okay…?"

"Come on" Mushi grabbed my hand and dragged me all the way to the other side of the room, towards the snack table. When I saw where we were heading, I got a hint of what she meant to do and tried to stop her. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing!" She said.

Finally, we stopped and Mushi spoke, "Hi Kuki!" She said.

"Hi Mu-" Kuki stopped when she turned and saw me with her sister.

"Wanna dance with Wally?" Mushi asked her.

There was a brief silence as Kuki tried to answer. But before she could even utter a word, I answered for her.

"Chad wouldn't like it" I said and Kuki desperately nodded along.

"Don't be silly!" Mushi said, "Hey Chad!"

Chad, who had just approached us, replied, "Yeah?"

"Would you mind if Wally and Kuki dance for a bit?"

"Not at all" He said simply, "Go ahead"

"Chad…!" Kuki muttered.

"What? It's fine, go ahead"

Having no choice, I ended up holding Kuki's hand as we entered the dance floor. Both of us knew that we didn't want to be with each other, yet we had no choice but to dance for at least half a minute. As if everything was meant to tease us the moment we got to the middle of the crowd, free from anyone's sight except for the busy dancers around us, a slow song suddenly played. Standing still, I sighed, looking away from her. We both knew that we didn't want to do this. We might as well abandon each other again. But to my surprise, she took my hand and placed her other hand on my shoulder. In return, I slothfully placed my hand on around her waist and placed the side of my head beside hers. And we started to dance. Despite my desperation for the moment to be over, I cannot say that I didn't like having her so close. It's been a while since I smelled the fresh scent of her hair or feel the smoothness of her skin. I was, indeed, dancing with an angel.

I started to actually enjoy the moment until she mumbled, "This is awkward…" That was when my anger domineered over me once again. I responded by giving out a sigh. Another moment passed before she spoke, "Wally, I know I hate me…and I'm really sorry but please just understand…"

"When have I not understood you, Kuki?"

"When you started molesting me without even thinking of how much pain I've been going through"

"You don't know the first thing about pain"

"Yes I do"

"No you don't. How could you say that when you've been the one causing it?"

"Wally…"

"You broke my heart once when you dated Chad. You broke my heart twice when you turned me down, when you just found out how I felt. And you broke my heart when you made me think that we could still have a chance but you suddenly abandoned me just like that…"

"…I love Chad, Wally. You know that"

I took a while to let the anger slowly roam inside me. And I continued to speak casually, "It's ironic that you're dressed as an angel. You're definitely not one"

"Wally, please stop this. You know why I can't just be with you…"

"Is that why you slept with me?"

I felt her tremble a bit. It was only then that I realized that what I said was less than a question and more of a threat. "Please don't tell him…" She begged quietly.

"It's pretty hard to keep your mouth shut especially when some slut uses you as her toy"

She didn't bother to wait for the song to end, she just let go of me and ran away in tears. Watching her disappear made me feel painful as well. I looked down and inwardly battled against the pain, sorrows, love and regret. When I found one of the feathers from her fake wings on the floor, I picked it up. It was then that I realized…I just made an angel cry.


	14. Ironic

_**Hehe, it's been a while. Sorry 'bout the HUGE delay. Just wanna let you guys know that the reason it took a while is because I worked on chapter 15 a bit before working on this one. Sorry. Haha, anyway here's chapter 14. I wanna warn you guys that this one's corny though. I kinda didn't feel like writing it. ANyway, here it is.**_

_**Ironic **_

During the time that passed after the Holloween party, I hardly hung out with the gang because I didn't want to see Kuki. Lucky enough, she was never there during the times I chose to come to the clubhouse. And since Mushi was busy with Sandy, I had no other people to hang out with other than my own family. Meanwhile, I held on to the feather that I found at the party. I tried to throw it away loads of times but I couldn't, even though it painfully reminded me of Kuki. Thinking of her was a combination of torture and pleasure. Along with the hate that I felt, the love came along. I couldn't understand how it was so hard for me to just stop loving her.

I sat quietly in the armchair, staring blankly into space. The thick silence echoed around the house as I could only hear the vague voices from my family upstairs. _Stop loving her…_I thought to myself. I bowed my head hopelessly for a minute before reaching into my pocket and pulling out the feather. I gently closed my eyes as I gracefully brushed its tip upon the bridge of my nose. The image of Kuki appeared in my mind and it made my heart feel soothed, at the same time crushed. _Love her…Or forget about her…?_

"Forget" I whispered, "Definitely forget"

The doorbell suddenly rang, slicing through the silence that once filled the room. I stood up lazily and answered it only to find a full-grown woman standing there, holding the hand of a familiar little girl.

"Hi, you must be Wally" She said, "Joey's big brother?"

"Yeah" I said, finally realizing that the little girl is Nicky, Joey's little girlfriend.

"I'm Nicky's mom. I'm here to drop her off to play with him"

"Alright" I allowed Nicky to come in and bid her mother goodbye before urging her to sit on the couch. "Joey, Nicky's here!" I yelled.

"Okay!" Joey yelled back from upstairs, "I'll be down in a minute!"

I sat once again on the armchair and let out a big sigh. It didn't take more than two seconds for me to see that Nicky was smiling at me.

"What are you smiling at?" I asked her.

"You're cute" She said.

"Aren't you a little bit too young to be gawking at guys?"

"What's gawking?"

"…Nothing…"

She stood up and approached the armchair, resting her elbows on the armrest and cradling her chin in her hands. A dreamy curiosity gently glowed in her wide, innocent eyes as she stared at me. "Do you have a girlfriend?" She asked me out of the blue.

"I used to. Why?"

"What's falling in love like?"

I was caught off guard by her bizarre question. "It's complicated"

"What does compacadid mean?"

Her mispronunciation made me laugh a bit. "It's when things are so hard to understand. Why are you asking me about love anyway?"

"I was just wondering what falling in love is like. Cinderella looked really happy when she fell in love with Prince Charming" She giggled.

"That's because Cinderella didn't have to choose between a Prince and a Pauper…"

She looked at me strangely, obviously baffled by my response. Before either of us could utter another word, Joey came running down the stairs. And as if I wasn't in the room, they minded their own business and happily sat on the couch, watching TV together.

Five minutes later, the doorbell rang again and I answered it. "Hey Hoagie" I greeted my visitor.

"Hey" He came in, "Who's that with Joey?"

"My future sister-in-law"

"Oh. Nicky" He laughed.

We went to the kitchen and hung out there to give Joey and Nicky some "Alone Time".

"You're brother is making a move on his five-year-old girlfriend" Hoagie laughed as he spied on them.

"What?"

"Look! He's holding her hand!"

"Leave my brother alone" I threw a bag of chips at him.

He laughed and opened the bag of chips only to start devouring its contents. "So how are things going with you, Mr. Outcast?"

"Alright. Still trying to get rid of the evil witch who cursed her own image into my mind and heart"

"Come on, Walls. She's not evil"

"Right, she's just a witch"

Hoagie stared at me blankly and sighed. "Aren't you supposed to be the guy who's desperately in love with her?"

"I used to be…until that stupid bitch screwed me over…"

He continued to stare at me, obviously still unable to believe in my anger. All of a sudden, he gave out a huge sigh. "Alright, I have some not-so-good news for you"

"What?"

"She knows that you and Mushi are over"

I leaned back and sighed heavily. "Since when…?"

"Last week"

"Great…I guess now she sees how pathetic I am…"

"You exaggerate too much"

"I don't exaggerate at all"

"Oh well. What'd you expect? They're sisters and practically best friends. It's expected for Kuki to find out that you and Mushi are over"

"Yeah…" A brief silence passed by before I spoke again, "Am I completely incapable of finding happiness?"

"Don't punish yourself just yet. I have more news"

"Go ahead. I'm listening"

"Which one first? Good news or bad news?"

"Bad"

"Bad news is, Kuki told Chad about your complicated love thing with her. So I guess you should expect something from Chad any time soon"

"Great…does he know that we did it with each other?"

"Don't think so"

"…This is a good time to tell me the good news, Hoagie"

"Oh. Right. The good news is, Kuki's not doing so well either"

I looked at Hoagie curiously. "What are you talking about?"

"She's been pretty depressed lately. You both have"

"What?"

"I don't know what happened between you two at the party but you're both bummed out. That's how Chad found out about your thing with Kuki. He's been worried about her so she told him why she was so depressed"

I sat there quietly, as I thought of Kuki. _I'm not supposed to care that she's depressed. _I got off the counter top and threw the Coke can I was holding into the trash. Then I turned to Hoagie and asked him, "You wanna go to the clubhouse?"

Ten minutes later we were at the clubhouse and things went the way I wanted them to. Kuki was there. Everyone else felt awkward to have us both in the same room but I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. The moment Hoagie and I entered the clubhouse, I greeted everybody like I normally would and simply sat on the couch. And it just so happens that Kuki sat on the opposite end. There we were, two feet apart, victimized by the awkward stares of our very own friends. I took a second to look at Kuki and looked away again. Although I had only seen her for merely two seconds, I saw how Hoagie was right about her. She was depressed too. The usual glow on her face was absent and the sparkle in her eyes was dim. She was completely the opposite of her usual self. Truth be told, I didn't come to enjoy watching her misery. I came to see Kuki because I wanted to see if she was alright. It sucks to admit it but I still care about her. And I have to lie about my feelings even to myself.

"Um, I'm gonna go get some snacks from the house" Nigel said.

"We'll help you" Abby and Hoagie said, suspiciously in unison, and they all disappeared. By then, Kuki felt so tense that I actually thought I could hear her nervous heart beat. In order to ease the tension, I reached for the remote control and switched the TV on. The moment it came on, my most hated song played. _Rainbow monkeys, rainbow monkeys, oh so very round and super chunky... _I narrowed my eyes in disgust at the pathetic cartoon.

"It's your favorite" I muttered. Although I didn't look at her, I knew Kuki was watching. She never got over her obsession for rainbow monkeys. She still has hundreds of them in her room and she still goes to the Rainbow Monkey theme park very often. _Everyone's made from a big rainbow! Oh red and orange, and pink and blue…_ I continued to torture myself with the horrible song. Tired of watching the stupid show, I turned my head to look at Kuki. The smile was just about to appear on her face as she watched the cartoon but she suddenly saw me staring. Almost immediately she frowned and looked away. Without taking my eyes off her, I turned the TV off with the remote control. There it was again…the uneasy beating of her heart.

"Relax, it's not like I'm gonna rape you" I said to her, "…Are you alright?"

She didn't answer me, nor did she look at me. I slowly scooted over to her, making myself comfortable on the spot by her side. Still, she ignored me.

"You're still pretty even when you're pouting" I told her.

"Don't talk to me" She said lowly without looking at me, "You're supposed to hate me"

"I still do. I'm just telling you that you're still pretty even when you pout"

"…What do you want, Wally?"

"Nothing…"

"You wouldn't be talking to me unless you wanted something"

"Right…whatever…" I said blankly and moved back to the far opposite end of the couch. Another moment of silence passed by. Soon I decided to taunt her by stretching my arm and resting it on the arch of the couch, where I pretended to _accidentally_ reach on to her hair. Gently, I took the ends of some strands and started to twist them. She responded by tucking her hair away from my reach. I turned my head towards her and stared. She sat quietly still, avoiding my eyes. Slowly, I reached further until I could touch her hair again.

"Stop it!" She snapped at me.

I stared at her for a second, somehow annoyed by her extreme effort to defend herself from me. "I just came to see if you're alright…"

She didn't answer.

"Hoagie told me about how you've been feeling lately. I wanted to see if you're alright"

"Yeah right…"

"Are you gonna be that bitchy forever?"

"I'm not being bitchy"

"No, you just hate me"

I saw her tremble slightly. And she whispered, "I don't…I don't hate you…I love you…"

I turned to look at her and saw that she started to weaken. Tears started to appear in her eyes as she turned away and stood up. She paced around behind me and in no time, she started crying. I didn't bother to turn to her. All I did was listen.

"I'm so tired of all this" She choked between her cries. "I don't know what to do…I don't know who to choose…"

The sound of her suffering was causing me pain, yet I've learned to endure this agony without having to break down and cry. All I did was sit there and I allowed the pain to overcome me. Finally, I stood up and went to her. By then she was having such a hard time that she had collapsed on the floor, as if too weak to stand. Without showing a single clue of the agony inside me, I stood before her, overshadowing her. Gently I reached down and pulled her up to her feet. I embraced her, gently shushing her as I stroked her hair. A part of me pitied her. She was such a fragile person, and this level of pain was already killing her. To think what might happen if she felt _my_ pain…

She pulled away gently and looked at me. She didn't know how much I struggled to look back at her directly. All of a sudden, she pressed her lips against mine. I didn't kiss her back. But I didn't pull away from her either. I just stood there as if nothing was happening. When she pulled away I stared at her blankly, while she looked into my eyes and my lips. She then rested the side of her head on my shoulder. We both stood there in each other's arm. She was clearing her mind while I was ignoring the voices screaming from inside. In no time I gave in to temptation and reached onto the buttons of her shirt and started to undo them. I've only gotten to the fourth button when she stopped me.

"No…" She whispered.

I didn't want to listen to her. So I continued to undo her shirt. She had to force me to stop.

"Wally, no…!" She slapped my hand away.

I took a few steps back and gently leaned on the couch. "I wish people could just for once forget about feelings and get laid…love sucks…" I meant that as a joke but it came out as something more of an attempt to seal my anger. I was so focused on my own rage that I didn't see the pained look on her face.

"Is that what all this means to you…?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're telling me that you're just some horny freak…" She said sadly and angrily.

"Believe me, I wish I could just be some sex-crazed maniac…" I said to her, "it hurts much more to be jealous than to be lustful…" My hands were completely shaking by then. I didn't realize how angry I was until I unwittingly grabbed a wooden chair and slammed it on the floor. Both of us, Kuki and I, were shocked by what I had done.

"Damn, I wish I could break the two of you apart" I said calmly, "Maybe I should tell him about that night we-"

"Wally!" She yelped.

I stared at her with half lit eyes, hiding the anger, pain and melancholy.

"Don't tell him that…it'll hurt him…"

"You wouldn't prick him with a needle yet you would gladly stab me with a knife…I thought you loved me?" I slowly walked towards her and leaned closer. "Why don't you just kill me, you whore" The pain she felt overcame her and she smacked me with her hand. I was shocked by what she did but I didn't show it. I didn't move until she ran out the door.

"Ironic…" I whispered to myself as I stood in front of some stranger's house, staring at the lights that surrounded it. It's true. Things _are_ ironic at this moment. Christmas is coming up and I'm surrounded by houses, beautifully ornamented with Christmas lights and decorations. Normally the sight of them would've made me smile, but I couldn't. I was in a happy place, yet I felt completely miserable. It was, indeed, ironic…

I walked through the empty streets, trying hard not to think of Kuki. So I focused on the freezing, shadowy paths before me. They resembled the ones in thriller movies. All that was missing was a maniac following me from behind, waiting for the right time to kill me. I gave out a small laugh and the cold white smoke blew from my mouth. It was getting colder by the minute and I couldn't wait to get home. I continued to walk briskly, minding my own business when all of a sudden, something made me turn around. It was a sound of footsteps, tapping along with mine. I looked around and found nothing and the mysterious footsteps also disappeared. I turned around and continued once again. By then I no longer laughed at the streets' resemblance to movie settings. It's not like it's not possible for serial killers to be roaming around town. I turned around sharply. I heard it again. I heard the footsteps that followed me, this time I knew they were real. I didn't bother to find out the identity of the idiot who was trying to scare me. "The sooner I get home, the better" I said to myself. Again I walked, listening closely for the footsteps. They were gone. Now there was nothing more but cold silence. At first I thought this was a relief but as the stillness grew thicker I found myself becoming more and more anxious every second. Soon enough I was pacing faster and becoming desperate to get home safely. As if it wasn't scary enough, the footsteps that I heard before started again. They were marching faster and I could hear them getting closer. I didn't dare to look behind me, out of fear of what I may find. All I did was try to escape. I may be known as a tough guy but here where it seems hopeless to put up a fight, I'd rather get away. It came to the point when I was about to break into a run when a strong hand suddenly grabbed me on the shoulder. On impulse, I turned around sharply and smacked it off my shoulder. That was when I saw the face of my "killer" and felt embarrassed with myself. Although I was shocked to find that Chad was the one following me, I still took time to breathe and calm myself down. When I was able to catch up with my breath, I looked at him strangely.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"I need to talk to you" He said, "It's about Kuki"

I rolled my eyes at him and turned around. After giving out a fumed sigh, I replied. "What about her?" And I started walking.

"She told me about what's going on with you two" He explained as he followed me.

"And?"

"I just want you to tell me your side of the story. What's really going on?"

"Don't you get it? I'm in love with your girlfriend"

"If you love her then why are you giving her a rough time?"

"Because she's stupid"

"But you love her, don't' you?"

I stopped for a second and so did he. Those words stabbed through me painfully but I chose to ignore the pain. "Why won't you let me forget about her? She chose you alright? So leave me alone…" I continued to walk. But what he said stopped me again.

"Have you ever thought that maybe the reason why you can't forget her is because your not meant to?"

I turned around slowly to face him.

"She still loves you, Wally. I can tell. She's always happier when you're around and everything you do affects her"

My hands were trembling but it wasn't because of the chilly weather. It was because of what he told me. Despite the relief inside, I couldn't possibly accept what he told me. It's too late. I don't want to have anything to do with this anymore. "Too bad" I said to him.

"What do I have to do to prove how much she loves you?"

"Why are you defending her? She's not worth it, Chad! She cheated on you!" I watched the pain overcome his face. But things weren't what they seem.

"I know that"

"What?"

"She told me…and I forgive her"

His answer made me laugh sarcastically. "You are more stupid than I thought, Chad"

"What are you saying?"

"Moron! Your girlfriend slept with someone else! She cheated on you and you don't care?"

"I do care. I just happen to love her so much that I'm willing to forgive her for everything she does"

I looked at him in disgust. "I can't believe you're letting her do this to you"

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You've been going through a lot of things yet you still love her!"

"I love her as much as I hate her"

I turned around and walked away from him. I've only taken a few steps when he said something that caused me to stop dead between my steps.

"Why are you making her suffer?" He said to me from behind. I stood there in disbelief. Slowly, I turned to him once again and I said, "What?"

"Why are you making her suffer?"

"Suffer? Making _her_ suffer?" I glared at him for a minute before approaching him angrily. When I was close enough, I furiously lifted up my sleeve and showed him my arm. I pointed to different scars and told him about each one. The first one that I showed him was the small burns by my hand. "This is a burn from the time I accidentally hurt myself with a cigarette" Chad looked at the scare in shame. After that, I placed my hand on the side of my waist, "This is where a bruise used to be from when I got drunk and fell" Finally, I showed him my dreadful scar of all. I rolled up my sleeve and held my palm face up. "This…" I pointed to a faint line across my wrist, "…this is my most recent scar. I tried to kill myself because of Kuki"

Chad looked at me as if to say that he didn't know what to think. His silence was acceptable to me.

"Go to Kuki and search her whole body" I said to him, "If you find at least one of these scars on her, then you can tell me that I'm making her suffer"

"Wally, those scars only prove more of how much you love her…"

What he said was true. I knew that perfectly well but I refused to accept it. So I turned around and walked away. This time I thought he was finally going to let me go but he didn't.

"What do you want me to do Wally? Do you want me to break up with her?" He called, "She obviously loves you a lot more that she loves me. If it'll make things easier I'll just end our relationship"

I looked at him in shock and anger. Next thing I knew, I approached him and grabbed his shirt. Despite him being bigger than me, I was able to lift him up and shove him against a tree trunk near by.

"She loves you" I told him, "If you even dare to break her heart, I swear I will kill you with my bare hands"

"Don't you get it?" He calmly said back, "I already broke her heart when I took her away from you…"


	15. Destiny and Fate

_**Note: The events that will happen in this part are really weird, just so you know. Also, this chapter is not really an ending but it IS the LAST part of the story. I'm not so good with endings but I hope this'll be good enough. There are a lot of TWISTS in this chapter.**_

**_Destiny and Fate_**

I placed my hands in my pockets as I walked down the slippery sidewalk. It's been days since I encountered Chad on that cold night. I had left him standing there along with our unfinished conversation. I didn't know what he did, whether he broke up with her or not. All I knew was that this visit to the clubhouse will reveal something to me. I stopped in front of Nigel's house, standing by the mailbox. I was aware of how easily I could just turn away and go home. But no…I couldn't do that. I have to face this. What seemed like an ordinary day to hang out with my friends, will be a day of more melancholy between me and…her.

"Hey Walls"

Hoagie greeted before stepping aside to let me in. Before taking my coat off, I looked around the place. Counting the number of people, including myself. I saw that there were only four of us. The missing person was Kuki.

"Come on, we're about to start a poker game" Nigel beckoned me to sit near by. I turned his offer down and settled on the couch. I figured that maybe my friends were used to me being serious since no one was coming up to me to see if I'm alright. A dull moment passed by with my ears almost blocking out the cheers and noises from the poker table where everyone else was. The thought of that night with Chad four days ago tattooed itself into my mind and I tried my best to erase it. I massaged the bridge of my nose, right between my eyes. I couldn't forget about it.

"Alright, let me join" I desperately stood and approached my friends.

"Come on, we just started" Hoagie whined, "Let us finish this game. I'm winning"

"Shut up and let me shuffle" I took all their cards and started to shuffle it. I could tell that everyone decided to let me have my way because they sensed the tension inside me. I distributed the cards and we all started playing. I started to lose right away. I didn't give a damn about the game. I just wanted a distraction. Realizing how much the game was boring me, I subconsciously started looking around. All of a sudden my eyes led to something that came to be a shock. There on the coat rack by the door hung a pink coat with rainbow colored hemlines. I recognized that coat right away. And just as I did, the front door opened to let in a beautiful Japanese girl. Everyone turned towards the doorway and saw her. Almost immediately, a heavy awkwardness filled the room. Kuki spotted me right away of course, as instant as I spotted her. Although she looked away very quick, I saw something about her facial expression. Loneliness, depression, pain…the very emotions I saw in myself. Nigel, Abby and Hoagie _tried_ to continue to play. Meanwhile I watched Kuki as she sat on the couch. Without another word I stood up and went outside, dragging Hoagie along with me.

"Hey, what's the big idea? I was in the middle of a game!" He complained after I shut the door to separate us from everyone inside.

"Why is Kuki depressed?" I asked him.

"Come on, Beatles. It's cold out here! Let's go back inside"

I grabbed his collar before he could even reach the knob. Again, I asked him, "What's wrong with her?"

Threatened by my actions, he answered, "I told you! She's been depressed! You know that! You were with her less than a week ago!"

"Something's different. She looks worse than before. What happened?" I tightened my grip and almost choked him.

"Alright, alright!" He surrendered, "Put me down first!"

I did as he told me. After rubbing his neck a bit, he told me. "Chad broke up with her"

My sudden emotions were not understandable. All I knew was that I was shocked by what I heard. "What…?"

"Four days ago, after you drove her out of the clubhouse, she went to Chad. I don't really know what happened but that next morning, he broke up with her. She wouldn't even tell us why"

"Son of a…!" I muttered angrily.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Get Nigel and Abby out of there. I need to talk to Kuki"

"What? Why?"

"Never mind why. Just do it"

Hoagie went inside while I stood out there in the freezing weather. In no time, he, Abby and Nigel walked out. I waited for them to enter Nigel's house before going into the clubhouse. There she was…sitting on the couch. I could only see the back of her head but I could still picture the sadness on her face. Without thinking twice, I sat with her. I didn't stay too close, and I didn't stay too far.

"Why did Chad break up with you…?" I asked her quietly.

She didn't answer.

"I'm not going to taunt you. Just tell me"

She still didn't answer.

"It's alright Kuki. I'm here to help you. I promise…"

"…He didn't tell me…"

"What…?"

She struggled to speak between her sobs. "He just said…things were getting too complicated…" She burst into tears and buried her face into her hands. Right away I scooted closer and wrapped my arms around her. She, in turn, hugged me back. "I don't know why he did it to me…We've gone so far into our relationship..."

"I know…" I whispered to her.

"I know I'm supposed to be happy…I also want to be with you but I also love him, Wally"

"I understand…" I said painfully and helplessly. This was what I was afraid of. Only a small part of me was happy to know that she no longer belonged to Chad. Despite that, I pretty much felt horrible to hear her cry. Having her with me today didn't feel as good as I thought it would. Especially when I know that she's miserable. I gently pulled away from her to look at her, face to face. She wiped her tears away and tried to be strong, although she avoided my eyes. The tears continued to run from her eyes and I gently wiped some of them away with my thumb. What I was about to do was painful. "I know why he broke up with you…"

"What…?"

"The night after we last met, he followed me home. We had a fight about this whole thing with you. He decided to break up with you so that you can be with me"

Everything inside me collapsed as I saw the pain in her eyes grow intense. "You talked him into breaking up with me?"

"No…He was the one who decided to do that. He loves you. He thinks being with me would make you happy"

She took time to catch up with her breath. The shock of what I said stopped her tears from running.

"Don't worry…I'll talk to him for you" I said, "I'll make sure he gets back with you"

Confusion added up to all the painful emotions I saw in her eyes.

"It's clear to me that you love him…a lot. I'll tell him to get back with you"

"No" She said suddenly.

I looked at her in confusion. I didn't understand.

"Don't do that"

"But you want to be with him"

"Yes…and no. I love you too, Wally. I have to make my decision first. I have to choose"

I continued to stare at her. What she said was supposed to make me happy…but it didn't. "Don't do that" I told her. "You don't have to choose. I'm not one of your choices…"

"Yes you are"

"No I'm not. You belong to him, Kuki. You're happy with him…so I want you to go to him and get back with him"

"Why are you letting me do this to you…?"

I looked deeply into her eyes…into her soul. The answer was clear and painful. "Only one of us was meant to be happy and it's not me…"

Weeks had passed and I dreaded the thought of what I told Kuki. I knew that I only did the right thing…so I freely accepted its painful consequences. I felt miserable to know what I did, but somehow happy to know that Kuki would be alright.

"Hey Wally" Nigel greeted as he allowed me into his house. I entered the British-fashioned manor filled with Christmas decorations and people.

"Nice party" I said as I scanned the room.

"Thanks" He replied, "Make yourself comfortable"

When he took off to assist other guests, I roamed around. I walked through the endless sounds of laughter and joy until I got to the snack table where I helped myself to the punch bowl. Then I leaned on the table, looking at everyone. It was then that I saw her. Kuki stood amongst the crowd, chatting with everyone around her. I gazed at her beauty, her white dress flattering her and an adorable overjoyed smile on her face. I felt an agonizing type of joy rise within me. I was both pained and happy to see her smile.

"Hey Champ"

I turned to my side and looked at Abby as she gathered some snacks onto her plate.

"Hey" I greeted back before staring at Kuki again.

"Don't stare too much" Abby laughed, "You might burn a hole through her"

"Look how happy she is…"

"I know"

"She and Chad must be doing great…"

"She and who?"

"Chad"

"What are you talking about?"

"Chad, her boyfriend"

"Not anymore. He broke up with her weeks ago, remember?"

"But they got back together four days after that"

"No they didn't. They tried but they decided not to"

I stared at Abby in shock and disbelief. When I looked at Kuki, I observed her smile. "Why is she smiling then? She's miserable without Chad…"

"I guess she just got over him real quick"

When Abby left, I turned back to Kuki. To my surprise, she was looking back at me. A gentle smile spread upon both our faces. For the first time ever, we understood each other completely…and it didn't hurt at all. Our moment ended when she looked away shyly and disappeared from my sight.

I walked through the thick piles of snow on the way to the clubhouse. All afternoon, I've been in the party and I was tired of it. So I came to the empty clubhouse to relax. Like always, I sat on the couch and looked around. The clubhouse looked delightful as it was decorated with Christmas ornaments, Christmas lights, mistletoes and even a Christmas tree. As I looked around the room, I was startled to find a cup of hot chocolate being held up right by my head. I turned around and found Kuki standing behind me.

"I thought you might be thirsty" She said.

I accepted the cup from her and moved over to let her sit beside me. "I didn't hear you come in"

"I tried to enter as quietly as I could. I wanted to surprise you"

"Well, you did" I smiled gently at her and she did the same.

"You look nice" She ran her hand down the sleeve of my brown blazer, which was covering my black turtle-neck sweater.

"Thanks" I said, "You look great in that dress"

She smiled gently, straightening up her white dress. By then her beauty had caused me to fall into a trance.

"You're really beautiful…" I said subconsciously in a more sincere way. She avoided my gaze as she was barely able to contain her broad, flattered smile. I saw her blush and it made me laugh gently. She responded by laughing as well. After that we allowed a short moment to pass by in order for us to clear our minds. At that time I was still pretending not to know about her being single. Yet, I wanted to bring that subject up.

"So, how are things going with you and Chad?"

A hint of discomfort spread upon her face. I was wondering whether she would tell me the truth about them or not.

"Chad and I didn't get back together"

I failed to act surprised.

"I went to him, like you said. We ended up having a long talk and we decided that it was best to take a break…or see other people"

She focused her eyes on me when she said this.

"There's still a chance for us to get back together but…I doubt that it would happen. Especially after all the complications…"

"I'm sorry to hear that"

"Don't be. It's for the best"

"So, how are you doing? This break up must be really hard on you"

"It is. But I'm getting a lot better. I'm okay now"

We smiled at each other gently. We were glad that things finally worked out.

"So um…you wanna go out some time…?" She asked me out of the blue.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, as in _go out_"

I stared at her blankly, inwardly shocked by her sudden invitation. Here was my chance to be with her yet I couldn't work it out. For several months I've wanted nothing more than to have this opportunity. But it wasn't the right time. My decision was stupid, but it was right.

"Maybe we shouldn't" I told her as gentle as I could.

The smile on her face disappeared and was replaced by confusion and hurt. Right away, I tried to let her know that I wasn't trying to hurt her.

"I'd love to take you out. I really would, but it's not the right time. You just got out of a serious relationship. I really think you should rest. Take some time off from all this"

"But what about you?"

"I can wait" I forced a smile, "When you feel a lot better, I'll take you out if you want"

She smiled at me thankfully and hugged me. "Thank you…" She whispered. When she pulled away, a gentle silence passed between us. There we were sitting face to face, perfectly available to each other. Yet, neither of us took the first step. Neither of us knew _how_ to take the first step.

"So…where do we go from here?" She asked me quietly.

I gave her a gentle sigh for a response. I didn't know what to do and I can tell that she didn't either.

_Give me a sign…_ I prayed. _Give me any sign. I have to if we'll ever be together…_

I looked at her and saw her looking away as she sank deep into her own thoughts. Meanwhile, I continued to pray for a sign. In no time, I gave up. No sign appeared before me. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, giving out a hopeless sigh. But then a sudden turn of events occurred when I opened my eyes. An overjoyed smile spread upon my face and I immediately turned to Kuki. She was startled by my sudden change of mood. Before she could ask me anything, I bid her goodbye with a gentle, passionate kiss on the lips. And I left.

I walked down the slippery, snowy sidewalk on my way home. Thoughts of what might happen to Kuki and me roamed my mind. Whatever the future holds, I can only hope. A part of me was scared, thinking that we _may_ never be together. But mostly I felt confident and happy. Somehow I knew that things will work out. Because earlier when I was with Kuki, after I had just given up on praying for a sign, I saw something. That something was the sign that told me that Kuki and I will be together. The sign was the one that told me to kiss her. It wasn't a kiss for goodbye, it was more of a message that I wanted to give her. We were going to be together sooner or later, for when I lifted my head after the prayer and before the kiss, I saw a mistletoe hanging above us. That was my sign.

_**THE END**_


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